Episode Report Card Cate: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Virgin
By Cate | Season 5 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.29.2001
Robbie walks in on Matt putting on a sweater. He offers to leave while Matt gets ready for his date, but you know it's because Robbie doesn't want to spend any more time around creepy Dopey than he has to. Robbie doesn't escape quickly enough, so now he must endure Matt's prying into his personal life. Dopey starts by asking whether Robbie has plans for the evening, then harasses him about Mary for a while. Robbie says that he will be studying with a friend this evening. As for the Mary situation, Robbie is upset that she might be dating Wilson, but he's pretty fatalistic about it all. When Dopey says, "What goes on between a man and a woman is between that man and woman and no other man or woman, no matter what man or woman that man or woman has been with in the past." Oh, go fuck yourself, Matt. I'm really getting sick of never hearing a coherent thought come out of your mouth. The show's G rating precludes Robbie from telling Matt to fuck off, so he just pretends to understand what Dopey is talking about and says, "I agree."
Julia calls to tell Ruthie that her mother yelled at her for not wanting to be Ruthie's friend. What I want to know is, how lame is Julia for telling her mother she doesn't want to be friends with Ruthie? Ruthie suggests that they don't need to be friends, but that Julia can lie to her mother about it. Maybe Julia's mother's maiden name is Camden, because she's standing about two feet away from Julia, shamelessly eavesdropping on her daughter's phone conversation.
Back at the CamPound, Lucy confronts Annie, saying she needs to talk to her. Annie must be psycho...I mean, "psychic," because she guesses that Lucy wants to discuss Serena. Annie doesn't want to discuss Serena, though. Lucy gives an impassioned speech about wanting to be treated like an adult, and to be told what's going on in this situation. When Annie says that she can't tell her, Lucy asks, "Why? Because you're wrong?" Ouch. While it's true that Annie is wrong, Lucy's just a dumb-ass who should shut up. Anyone who wants to start mediating their parents' marital woes really needs to have her head examined. Lucy, don't even start down that path. And quit doing that zigzag part thing with your hair. It just looks stupid on you. Lucy stalks off. The phone rings. It is Julia's mother calling.
Simon's moping around the CamPound, feeling sorry for himself. Robbie tells him, "You look like you just got run over by a truck." Hey, that's not very nice, Robbie. Simon probably doesn't have much say in what the hair people do to his bangs. Simon fills Robbie in on the "Virgin Camden" situation. He promises Simon that eventually the situation will make for "a very funny story."