Episode Report Card Lady Lola: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Five Minute Rule
By Lady Lola | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 10.14.2010
Eventually, the housemates return home, where Sitch is preparing chicken cutlets for dinner. He promptly starts a grease fire -- to the extent that firemen arrive. Snooki predictably creams her pants, admitting that this very scenario is one of her fantasies. TMI, Snickers, TMI. Drama aside, Sitch makes a tasty dinner, and Pauly gets all philosophical that there was a time in which all of these nimrods didn't know each other. To which America says, "Me, too!" Followed by a sad sigh.
After dinner, the kids are all digesting their extra-smoky cutlets. Vinny makes a throwaway comment about how he and Pauly like their ladies because they're the "exotic" types. Sammi claims she, too, is exotic, and asks for validation. Ronnie says she looks Asian, which he likes. This apparently strikes a chord because Ronnie's ex was Asian. "Tonight's about to get really interesting," scoffs Vinny. Snooki goes outside to check on Sammi, who wants to tell her to stop being a stupid, petty idiot but by and large refrains from such frankness. Eventually, Ronnie comes out. Sammi holds her line, asking him the grandest question of all: "Why are you with me?" Instead of placating her, Ronnie echoes her, saying she's been negative to him throughout their relationship. All of it is true, yet so pointless. At some point, Sammi has the shocking epiphany that Ronnie is an asshole. Oh really? And the amazing part of it all is that I'm pretty sure they're sober right now. They're not even drunk, and they'll stoop to this level of pettiness in order to sustain the drama. It's their lifeblood. They're like sharks, if they don't move, they're dead. Except moving in this case is replaced by bitching.
Speaking of drama propagation, Snooki and JWOWW devise to do a hook-up board. By which I mean they think it will be interesting and insightful to figure out who has hooked up with whom and, by extrapolation, whose spit you've swallowed secondhand. Long story short, everyone in the house has at least made out with everyone else.
The next day, it's GTL in which the "T" stands for both Tanning and Towing, thanks to Sitch's crappy parking. He and Vinny use a pay phone to call the parking enforcement number. Sitch actually asks for a discount (more than once). Needless to say, there is no discount. He and Vinny walks all over kingdom come to find the impound lot. Eventually, they reclaim the car, regretting all the things they could have done in this last week for the $175 they spent on a lousy 10 minutes of illegal tanning salon parking. Lesson learned, guidos.