Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: B- | 2 USERS: D+ YOU GRADE IT Speaking Truth To Power
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.16.2006
Credits: 41,421 survivors, which is one more than last week, which is Bulldog. So far Helo's turncoat bullshit respect for his humanity and soul -- and those of, um, everybody -- has had a deadly effect of negative one. ["I didn't edit that recap, but let me just say retroactively: shut up, Helo. Either you're in a war or you're not. God. You want to hug and kiss some poisonous Cylons, resign your commission and join the Colonial Peace Corps." -- Wing Chun] Flashback to Admiral Corman's office, back before the war. Corman's telling Adama that they'll never have "this opportunity" again. What opportunity? Hmm. "I'm assuming you appreciate the consequences if you're discovered," Adama is told. "And you understand, Commander, that this conversation did not happen." Such awesome things happen after that line. Always. It's in the WGAw rules. "This conversation did not happen" leads immediately to tax deferment, fro-yos, and free education for everybody. Adama says of course he knows about the conversation not happening, but requests his men for the mission, especially for something called the "Stealthship," which...I'm not sure. Either it's, like, a special Viper, or it's the name of a Viper. All through the episode, I thought it was called the Stealthstar, which would make it a bad-ass class all its own, and would make a certain amount of sense in context, but no dice. And also, there's only "one pilot" he trusts to fly it, and Corman says "Who?" but we both know. It's clearly Starbuck.
Just kidding! It's the proto-Starbuck, who is Bulldog. With whom we are, in the Galactica med lab, where Cottle is -- is he? -- yes, yes he is. He's checking Bulldog with Gaius's Cylon Detecting Apparatus. Which is awesome, because the only time it's malfunctioned is when Gaius lied about Boomer, and um, that robot chicken has flown the robot coop, so I'm glad they're using it. I would like to see that conversation over tea with Sharon: "Oh, that thing? Totally works. My bad. That was...a liiiitle bit before I shot you. Just a tad. Bet you wish it worked better, huh?" Oh, how they'd laugh then. "The conspiracy theorists are gonna be disappointed," Cottle grumps to Bulldog. Please. The conspiracy theorists don't care about Bulldog. They just want Lee and Kara back together. Cottle: "We've checked your DNA signature against your military records, and it's conclusive: you're not a Cylon." Bulldog's like, "I've been not being a Cylon for three years. In a tiny cage, doing pushups." Cottle crustily offers Bulldog a smoke, and Bulldog stares at him like he means crack, so Cottle shrugs and pops the cigarette into his mouth like delicious candy. I totally want a cigarette, so hang on. You can thank Doctor Cottle: It's so rare that people smoke on TV now that I've lost my defenses. Meanwhile, Adama's having a secret loooove conversation on the phone in the corner, which is totally all about Bulldog, who is totally sitting right there, which is totally rude. Roslin's like, "Bring his POW ass up here," and Adama is more than willing. "Whatever they did to him out there, they kept him fed and relatively healthy," says Cottle. Where's the crusty downer he always supplies? That was almost sunny! "...Physically, anyway." Right, there we go.