Episode Report Card Cate: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Regarding Eric
By Cate | Season 7 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.20.2002
Cyborg Kevin calls Roxanne on her cell phone. She's just getting off duty from the Promenade beat. It can't have been very taxing. It seems like the worst thing that ever happens there is when RevCam stalks his children. Since he's got such a full schedule wallowing in self-pity these days, crime must really be down on the Promenade. Anyway, Kevin tells Roxanne, "I'm doing something I don't think I should do." Well, gross! I really hope he's not talking about polishing the ol' CyborgSchlong. At least Roxanne doesn't take it that way, but her interpretation is infinitely worse. She automatically assumes that Kevin is asking her out on a date. What the fuck is wrong with all these people? Even when Kevin adamantly insists that he's not asking her out, Roxanne still coyly assumes that he is. And when he tells her, point-blank, that he's not interested in her, she looks genuinely confused. What possible reason could Kevin have to be calling her if he's not asking her out on a date? I mean, gawd, like, really! It turns out Kevin is calling to tell her that Robbie likes her. I'm sure we all got enough of that sort of shtick when we were in junior high, so I'll just move right along. Oh, but I almost forgot to mention that Roxanne asks if Lucy is trying to make Kevin keep Roxanne and Robbie apart. Kevin doesn't answer. See, I wouldn't have bothered even mentioning that at all, but it might help to know about it later when this sad excuse for a subplot rears its ugly head again.
Thanks to RevCam, Cecilia thinks that Simon has something important to tell her, and she's refused to leave his room until he does so. Consequently, Simon and Cecilia have been sitting silently in Simon's room for hours. Cecilia finally breaks the silence to offer her guess on what Simon is allegedly so desperate to tell her. It's long and boring and poorly worded, but what it boils down to is that Cecilia thinks Simon wants to be her friend but he doesn't know how to tell her so. She could use someone to talk to about the difficulties in her relationship with some football player. That doesn't exactly sound like a great friendship to me, but this is Cecilia we're talking about, and she's never struck me as the nicest person in town.
Lucy is taking a break from her disastrous counseling session to make some tea when the phone rings. It's Roxanne, asking, "What is your problem, and who do you think you are?" With only twenty minutes or so left in the show, there's obviously not nearly enough time to cover all that, so Roxanne just moves on to the part of the conversation where she mocks the fact that Kevin hasn't proposed to Lucy yet. I'm torn. I can't stand Roxanne, and I'm not overly impressed with her attitude, but on the other hand, she is making fun of Lucy, and that always warms my heart. Next comes the threat. Roxanne warns Lucy, "If Robbie likes me, it's in your best interests not to get in the way of that. Let's just say, if you get in my business, I'm going to get in your business. And Lucy, you do not want me getting in your business." Lucy is naïve enough to look scared by this. Dork.
Ruthie's big problem (or at least the one she wanted to talk to RevCam about) is that she knows one of her friends at school, Alice, is being abused by her parents. The parents are allegedly withholding food from Alice and being "mean" to her. RevCam wants to intervene, but Ruthie is trying to stop him. It's pretty obvious that she is making all this up as a way to give Eric something to do.