Episode Report Card Sara M: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Race Wars
By Sara M | Season 22 | Episode 10 | Aired on 04.20.2011
Various women's voices start trying to calm Phillip down (I think it's Julie and Andrea. Actually, it would have to be, since it's certainly not going to be Ashley or Natalie), but he tells them to shush and continues his rant. Steve is just confused as to how this suddenly became a race issue. Then he remembers that Phillip is crazy and just lets him talk and threaten and right after he claims to be a very rational person and not a lunatic, he says he's "the chief of counter-intelligence," which is something lots of rational people who aren't lunatics say. Steve just sighs and closes his eyes. DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES, STEVE! THAT'S WHEN HE CUTS YOUR HEAD OFF!! Of course, that might just be my racism talking. You see, any time a black man spends a season of this show yelling at people and claiming to be a decorated federal agent and refusing to pronounce people's names correctly and the myriad other crazy things Phillip has done on this show, my racist ass accuses him of being crazy. Phillip leaves Steve with this: "Wing Chun kung fu expert here," which is how I will be concluding all phone conversations and possibly my recaps from now on. Grant gives us his review of the situation: "it's like watching Divorce Court. Phillip stalks off angrily and says that Steve obviously thinks he's better than Phillip, and it's probably because he's white and Phillip is black. Ralph finally shows up and hears from Steve and Julie about what happened. He just shakes his head and clicks his tongue. Phillip continues to interview that he's "like a lot of black men. We're prepared to self-destruct at any moment." And then he can't get through that without giggling, so who knows if he really feels this way or he's just putting us all on? He quickly recovers and says this is why drive-by shootings happen, but he's not planning on going off on anyone like that. Maybe. And, he adds, he figures he can basically do or say anything he wants to other tribe since he already knows there's no way they're voting for him to win the million dollars.
Phillip sits in his chair and keeps ranting, saying that every time something comes up with "the people of the former Zapa-Zapatella tribe," they say he's crazy, even though he was clearly sane enough to think he used to be a federal agent. Steve sarcastically salutes Phillip, who accuses Steve of racism again. Steve just stands there and points at Phillip, who gets to his feet and makes a gesture that is so vulgar that we don't get to see it, not even with a blur. Ralph steps in and asks if they can't all just get along. I don't know why Ralph is even bothering with this. He should just sit back and watch like Julie. There's nothing anyone can do. And the more people try to step in or say something, the more Phillip works himself up into a lather. Oh, and now Phillip just used the N-word. Steve interviews: "crazy crazy Phil being crazy Phil." He says the chip on Phillip's shoulder is so big that it's more like a log. Steve stirs some rice and mutters to Rob and Grant that his alliance is voting for Phillip tomorrow, just FYI. He then returns to his tribe's shelter section and wonders to Julie how someone like Phillip (who is walking on the beach wearing just his pink briefs and his feather headband, like any other rational person would do) could have possibly been a government agent.