Episode Report Card Kelsea Stahler: A- | 42 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Ryan Hardy: Professional Life-Ruiner
By Kelsea Stahler | Season 2 | Episode 7 | Aired on 03.03.2014
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Of course, the first of our emotional messes is centered on Ryan Hardy. Since his man Mike has robbed Lily of her son (and complete creep-bag) Luke -- who's healing rather slowly and sure to go to prison once he's better – she's decided to take something from Ryan. Her target is, of course, Ryan's only family, Max, who is tricked by a serial killer and his creepy young son in a parking garage and winds up hanging from the ceiling of said serial killer's cabin. Ryan, who's buddy-buddy with the FBI because (duh) he's super valuable to the investigation they keep screwing up, helps them narrow down the location of the Kurt, the notorious killer a.k.a. the Huntsman.
Somehow, even though it takes Ryan and the FBI ages between when Kurt lightly drags a knife along Max's tattoo and when they reach his innocent and completely ignorant wife, Max is still alive as they continue their search. Ryan realizes there's something off about the woman's son and he and Mike corner him until he asks them if Max is a whore because his dad loves killing whores. This kid's got a mouth on him. They trap the kid and he screams until they get the address of Kurt's cabin. (And this is okay, FBI? He's messed up, but he is a kid.) We're not given much time to think about it, because Ryan and Mike run off to the woods, kill Kurt, and find Max. And just like that: problem solved and a notorious serial killer is suddenly taken down like it's nothing. Why hasn't the FBI done this sooner?
Of course, Lily is not one to have only one segment of a plan, so when Ryan and Mike return to the FBI all happy about their victory, they receive another video: it's Lily. She's found Mike's father, who he regrets having a terrible relationship with. Mike watches as Lily's henchman (probably Mark) severs his father's aorta (hello, awful and excessive sounds of violence). Mike breaks down – he almost left the FBI altogether, but came back just to help Max – and for once, Ryan sees how his "loved ones in danger" curse affects people other than him. Of course, this also happens because Lily is an absolute freak of nature. So maybe it's not all Ryan's fault.
While tragedy is doled out on Team Hardy, Team Joe isn't faring much better either. Joe, bereft of other options, takes Mandy and Emma to Roderick's friend's cult. Sounds super reliable, Joe. Naturally, it's not and the cult leader's wife greets them with guns, trucks, handcuffs, and bags which her minions promptly throw over their heads. The cult is run by some narcissist named Micah, who knows he's just toying with his followers' minds – almost more despicably than Joe did – and he wants Joe's allegiance. The wife makes Joe take a lie-detector test, which he passes, so to check further, they also allow "the will of God" to select Emma from the crowd at a cult ritual with a giant wishbone so they can tie her to an altar and slit her wrists. Naturally, Micah takes her blood and drinks it, because these are crazy people we're dealing with.
We're later told Emma lived – though we do watch her pass out, which is pretty inconclusive – but that Micah's wifey doesn't trust Joe. She'll play nice because Micah wants Joe to help him get his followers to kill for him – serious walking piece of human waste, this guy – and she can tell that Joe doesn't really have an interest in helping her horrible husband. May the more tenacious and wily cult leader win, I suppose.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We open with Emma, Mandy, and Joe visiting Robert, Roderick’s friend, at his new cult. Joe says they’re peaceful and easily swayed, but this has disaster written all over it. The whole "friend of a friend" thing rarely works out as it should. Especially when Joe of all people admits that he’s "winging it."
Then, Robert shows up with two jeeps, a very insistent lady in a scarf, and lots of guns. See? No good comes of winging it. The woman has them all cuffed with bags on their heads. "In here, you’re the follower," she says before she takes them away. Joe’s ego is not going to like this. Next thing they know, they’re all being made to strip down and cleanse themselves before meeting the cult’s leader, Micah. Psssh. What kind of a cult leader name is that?
Meanwhile, Ryan is working with the FBI because Mendez finally believes that he saw Joe alive and that there is a leak in the FBI -- too bad it’s her baby mama right under her nose. Mendez also finally admits that Ryan is more helpful to the investigation than the entire room of experts they have working on it. Too bad Ryan is interested in helping because he doesn’t trust her. She notes that she can have hi locked up, but she likes him except for the part where he puts his loved ones in danger. Oh boy, writers, we get it.
Mike is in the building too. But he’s only there to leave the Bureau and go home, where his relationship with his father is in need of mending. Mike tells Ryan that he thought coming back to the FBI would help him with what happened in Havenport and what happened to Deborah, but he’s having issues. Mike talks about having issues responding to situations normally and says that therapy hasn’t helped. All he can do is go home. (And here’s where bet that he won’t stay gone for long.)
Max is also out: suspended for at least six months until the investigation is over. She’s okay with it because she thinks they need to rethink this vigilante mission that they’re on because they are dealing with some serious psychopaths. If only it were that easy to just decide you’re done with someone like Lily. Ryan, of course, couldn’t stop even if Lily wasn’t hounding them. He withdrew from the semester -- the teaching job that he got just to piss Joe off -- and that he’s in too deep. He needs to that he needs to kill Joe. He even stopped drinking so he’d be healthy enough to take him down. Is obsession healthier when you’re totally aware of it? It’s not, so Max makes one last plea: she’s his family and his real life. But that’s not going to stop Ryan.