Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Barefoot At Capefest
By Wing Chun | Season 3 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.11.2000
Establishing shots of Capeside, clearly filmed in August. The credits reveal that this episode will feature the return of Michael "Henry" Pitt. Well, thank God. Before we see her, we hear the voice of Jen "Still Here" Lindley, telling Jack "Baby Steps" McPhee that he needs to give her an explanation before he puts three boxes of cereal in their cart. Uh, no he doesn't; three boxes is about the minimum you can have for sufficient cereal variety. Besides which, when they show them maneuvering their cart around The Tiniest, Twee-est Market in Massachusetts, it's obvious that the store could not possibly stock more than two boxes of cereal at any one time anyway. Anyway. Jack tells her that Grape-Nuts™, Cocoa Pebbles™, and Cap'n Crunch™ are each the perfect cereal for different times of day. (Minute-long cereal monologue = MBTV shout-out? You make the call.) Jen cracks that this speech is proof that he's Andie's brother (I'm not sure how, but whatever), and takes the Pebbles and the Cap'n Crunch out of the cart, claiming that he's a bad grocery shopper. NOT. Speaking of which, I could really go for a bowl of Lucky Charms right now. But I am too dedicated to take a recap break now. As Jen goes off to re-shelve the offending cereals, Jack mutters, "Fascist," to which she replies, "Pig." (Jen uttering the word "pig" = MBTV shout-out? I want to believe!) Someone in front of Jack's cart remarks, "At least you fought the good fight." Jack looks up to see the eyebrows of Ethan "Parker" No-Last-Name-Yet, and, under those eyebrows, Ethan himself. Jack, flustered, manages to sputter, "Ethan. From the train, Ethan." Ethan chuckles and says, "I prefer just plain 'Ethan.'" Jack shakes his head and asks what Ethan's doing there. Ethan says that he's food shopping: "I hear it's pretty standard in one of these places." Is this "witty" "banter" going to go on much longer, or am I going to have to go down to keckler's and borrow some of her Pimm's? Jack explains that he'd thought Ethan was going back to private school last weekend, and Ethan says that he did, but that he came back for something called "Capefest." Jack asks what that is: "Is it like a feed-the-poor type thing?" Ethan scoffs, "Which one of us lives here year 'round?" Gee, I forget, but I can tell you which one of you is breaking ground on a sixteen-bedroom villa on my last. NERVE. And it's not Jack. Ethan says that it's a free concert in the park, and continues up the aisle as Jack calls after him, "So it's like a 'palooza type deal?" Ethan says (essentially) that it is, and adds that there's a campsite outside the concert, and that he's going to get a spot the next day. Jack nonchalantly says that it "sounds like a blast," and Ethan tells Jack that if he's "a fan" (of music? Have we found out what band is playing yet?), he should come. With a little too much enthusiasm, Jack proclaims himself "a total fan." Ethan gives him the "tell-tale fan quiz," and asks who Jack's favourite Foo Fighter is. Jack says, "Courtney Love?" Aw. She's mine too. Ethan basically laughs in Jack's face, and tells him that he's "in the alternative nation, just not quite in the right zip code." Jack looks embarrassed. Ethan starts to leave, and then, brushing past Jen, tells Jack, "You should come anyway." Jen checks Ethan out and gives Jack a "right-on" look, remarking, "Cute!" Jack says, "Gay." Jen says, "Aren't they all?" Ethan: Seriously, shut up.
Back at Capeside High, Andie "Teacher's Tick" McPhee is asking a Mr. Broderick whether she can speak with him a moment. Before I continue recapping this scene, let's review. Sars has, on several occasions, noted the similarities between Andie's character and that of Tracy Flick, the character played by Reese Witherspoon in the 1999 film Election. In the movie, Tracy was the extraordinarily perky thorn in the side of put-upon teacher Jim McAllister, played by Matthew Broderick. And here, in this very episode of Dawson's Creek, we have a never-before-seen teacher by the name of Mr. Broderick. Dear DC writers: Subtle! Not. Love, Wing Chun. Anyway, Mr. Broderick is very snotty and assumes that Andie wants to audition to appear in the school play (later revealed to be Barefoot in the Park), but in fact she wants to be the show's assistant director. When she finally gets a word in edgewise to tell him that, he replies, "Well, why didn't you just say so?" Like, ha ha. Not.