Episode Report Card Sara M: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Li'l Russell Island
By Sara M | Season 22 | Episode 3 | Aired on 03.02.2011
Li'l Russell grins, as well he should, since he doesn't have to do or say anything. His little puppet is doing it all for him. Probst informs Steve that an "incohesive group of nine is a much bigger advantage than a tight six" going into a merge. Um, no, it's not. Remember, Probst, when Li'l Russell went into a merge with a tight group of four against an incohesive group of eight? Or when J.T., Stephen, and Taj were a tight group of three against like seventeen people in that Brazil season? And they did just fine. Steve says losing "sucked," but he still will not admit to throwing the challenge. Why should he? He admitted it in his interviews; he just doesn't think it's wise to admit it openly or to Probst, which I totally understand. Stephanie smiles and shakes her head. Probst asks David if Steve is telling the truth and he truly got his "ass kicked by Rob." David says Rob beat him. "Really?" Stephanie snots. Ugh. SHUT UP. David tells her not to speak for him and trust that just because his hands weren't moving on the puzzle board doesn't mean that his mind wasn't working. "Okay. [giggle]," Stephanie says.
For some reason, Probst wants to hear from Sarita again, even though the editors obviously couldn't care less about her or anything she might have to say. He asks her if Li'l Russell is "scary" to her alliance because they can't predict what he might say or do. Sarita says Li'l Russell is like a "black cloud" over their camp who does nothing to help out. "Oh my god, I'm going to lose my shit," Stephanie says, helpfully putting her hands over her mouth so the editors won't have to put a blur there. That's unusually considerate for Stephanie. Probst cuts Sarita off to hear more from Stephanie. While the rest of the tribe roll their eyes, Stephanie claims that Li'l Russell does a lot around camp, like collecting firewood and catching crabs. "Wake up, okay?" she concludes. Oh my god, I'm going to lose my shit. Wake up, Stephanie. You're in a minority alliance with a guy who doesn't know how to shave his own armpits and some blonde girl who doesn't know how to speak. You might have had Julie, but do you really think she's going to side with you after you've been so incredibly off-putting tonight? As for Sarita, her only response to Stephanie's outburst is a confident smile. Probst asks Ralph for his opinion, which Ralph readily, if unintelligibly, gives. Something about how any work Li'l Russell does around camp is to benefit solely himself.
Probst lectures the tribe on being "so divided" this early in the game like that's anyone's fault but his favorite player and says he predicts they'll be in "big trouble" when the merge happens. He claims that's a "big prediction" from him, even though, as the executive producer of this show, he can and does make whatever he wants to happen, happen. He asks Li'l Russell what he can do, if anything. Li'l Russell says he's keeping hope alive, because that's what his tattoo says and that's what he thinks will look awesome on camera when Julie is stupid enough to trust him and vote for Ralph. "It never is what it seems," he says, no doubt already planning to have that tattooed on his other shoulder. Then he and Phillip can compete in the Stupidest Shoulder Tattoos Contest. Julie sits there, looking smug. I don't like this. Don't you do this to me, Julie. Don't you dare!