Episode Report Card Aaron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Deft, where ith thy thting?
By Aaron | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 06.30.2001
And God said, "Let there be insipid dialogue." And so it was, as Borelai asks Ruth how she's holding up now that love's labors have been lost. Actually, she says "since Nathaniel's passing," but they basically mean the same thing. Ruth answers, "It gets better everyday," but Claire trumps her again with "shit happens." Snory equates the stress of losing a loved one with moving or getting fired, and having experienced all three of those things, I'd say she's more right than the show gives her credit for. Borelai expounds on that by talking about how hard it was when she got divorced, and Snory talks about how she just wouldn't let her mommy mope. "I dragged her ass, pardon my French, out of bed and took her to spinning class." I'm wishing Snory was this week's La Femme Morte at the moment, if you'll pardon my French. Ruth can't take the babbling anymore, especially not after Snory refers to endorphins as "nature's antidepressants." You know, I'm pretty sure beer is nature's antidepressant, but that's a different story. Anyway, Ruth snaps at them, "[Christopher] didn't die. He's still alive. You can still see him. When [Snory] gets married, he'll be there. When she has kids, they'll be able to know him." Borelai weakly says they're still similar in terms of the impact it had on their lives, but trails off into awkward silence. Snory jumps in with an idea: they'll all get up and go to spinning class together in the morning. Claire claims that she'd rather drive a rusty railroad spike through her forehead, which gets a laugh from Ruth, but Borelai is adamant about introducing them to Derek the hot, hot, hot spinning instructor.
David's Ye Olde Body Shoppe. Cybill is propped up on a counter, her oversized breasts thrust right in David's face. Well, one of them is. The other is pointed at the North Pole or something. She reminisces about how "real" men loved her tits, and then asks if David thinks God cares if he's gay. Sticking with the Socratic method of acting he seems to have developed this week, David replies, "Do you think God cares that you fucked thirty guys at once?" Cybill wonders if he equates being a "fag" with being a "whore," and then asks, "One's okay and the other isn't?" Of course, while she says this, she also gestures with her hands to make her point, and cleverly manages to indicate which breast is okay and which isn't. See? There are certain advantages to having an estrogen-deprived recapper. If I hadn't been staring at her tits, I never would have caught the hidden sight gag. They banter a bit more, and then David learns this week's Lesson From Beyond The Grave, which basically boils down to: Love the one you're with. Gee, thanks, Stephen. Fade to white.
Fade back up on Nate, dreaming about Brenda as a child. He wakes up to find her out of bed (yet again) and watching from the windowsill. Cut to Claire, also asleep until Ruth runs in and drags her out of bed. Claire doesn't want to get up at first, claiming that "[she's] starting to feel like Anne Frank." Ha! Ruth reminds her that if they don't escape soon, they'll have to go spinning. They sneak out of the house, and run giggling down the driveway to The Lean Green Corpse Machine. Then they drive over to Sally Struthers's house and have a little tea party with Sookie, Jackson, and Kirk the Townie.