Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | 6 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT You Gogo, Girl
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.18.2004
...and the limo is pulling up to the Kane house, and it's morning. There's gonna be hell to pay. Or Celeste Kane, which might be worse. The kids notice that Mama and Papa Kane are in the driveway, along with Keith in sheriff's uniform. I should point out that Keith could probably have tracked them down a lot earlier if he'd wanted to, which is not to say that he necessarily did. The Kane kids and Veronica spill out of the limo, and they certainly did a pretty good job in making them look like they've been up all night. Lilly sunnily asks Keith, "What seems to be the problem, Officer?" Honey, just wait a month and ask him that question. Celeste asks Lilly if she's drunk, and Lilly's like, "Not so much anymore." Hee. I really like her. Celeste asks why she insists on humiliating her. Lilly points out that she wasn't the only Kane in that Limo. Celeste: "I know you, Lilly. Any trouble this family has ever had, you've been at the root of it. Sometimes I just want to bash you over the head with a blunt instrument and pin your death on some disgruntled ex-employee of your father's." Some of that may have been implied. Duncan tries to take the blame, and Jake orders them into the house. Lilly replies by going over to Logan and planting a big wet one on him. While she does, Logan looks warily at the Kane parents. Hee. Veronica meekly apologizes to her dad, who generously says they'll talk at home. He thanks the Kanes for the coffee, and their wordless reply could be interpreted as a little chilly. Duncan turns back to give Veronica a fond smile before Jake drags him into the house. Aw.
School, outside. Dozens of candle-holding students stand by as the school orchestra plays "Wind Beneath My Wings." Heeee hee hee. And Logan thought Lilly would hate the video tribute. Veronica takes a picture. Logan looks sad. Up front, Celeste tells the crowd that Lilly loved the school, and with the fountain, part of her will always be there. Veronica comes up front to be next to Icetwin. Did Icetwin know Lilly, or did he get to know Duncan only after she died? Celeste goes on and on about how wonderful Lilly was. Hmph. Duncan unveils the fountain, and everyone applauds politely. Logan points a remote at a large video screen set up for the occasion, and saccharine images of Lilly bombard us. Celeste looks pleased. That is, she looks pleased until an electric guitar cuts in on the soundtrack. Logan casts a conspiratorial smile at Veronica. Meanwhile, Celeste wishes she'd worn pearls with her outfit, so she could get in a good clutch. The footage we see from here on in is from the limo ride a year ago. Lilly tells America that they wanted her, and they've got her. Lilly and Veronica chair-dancing. Lilly popping champagne. Lilly sticking her ass out the window. Duncan and Jake both look very happy. Lilly kisses Logan. Lilly: "You love me, don't you?" It's just about unanimous, but Celeste makes sure there's one in every crowd. And now seems as good a time as any to dub her "Mommie Sneerest." Jake breaks down crying, and Duncan comforts him. I really haven't formed an opinion as to who killed Lilly yet, but with the similarities this show has to Twin Peaks, I feel I would be remiss if I didn't point out that it was the crying dad who killed Laura Palmer. Of course, he was possessed by an evil entity, but whom do you think Jake Kane made a deal with to develop streaming video? Everyone cheers, and Veronica and Logan beam at each other. Nice smile, Dohring. Elsewhere, Felix tells Weevil they should go. Weevil turns, and he's been crying. Well, well. That is interesting.