Episode Report Card Aaron: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Gotta Serve Somebody
By Aaron | Season 3 | Episode 6 | Aired on 04.05.2003
Like the Olympic output of a female East German shot-putter hopped up on Dianabol and superfluous Y chromosomes, the world records just keep on coming this week (StC = 193). You know, this really wasn't my all-time favorite episode (and without a dinner party, how could it be?), but nevertheless, I'm bowing to the existential purity of mathematics and awarding it the A+ the formulas tell me it so richly deserves. We fade back up in the Body Shoppe, where Rico is applying the restorative finishing touches to a grotesquely over-sized corpse while Nate wheels in the body of the late and largely unlamented DGDJ. There's some brief discussion of the fact that rhinoplasty can kill, which is capped off by the relatively Nate-centric observation that "we're all just walking time bombs." Thanks, Brain-Boy. Rico wonders if his XXXL casket (and side order of pot stickers) has come in from Appleby Caskets yet, and also begs Nate to stick around and help him load up Biggie Smalls when it finally does. Nate, however, has other plans, which include a camping trip with Lisa, Maya, and their new couple-friends that we met in the season opener. Nate's quiet disappointment that Lisa will be coming along on his sojourn into the woods is evident even here, so he quickly changes the subject to invite Rico to take a vacation of his own. "Yeah, well, every weekend since Vanessa's mom died," replies Rico, "we're at her house cleaning out all her stuff." Hmm. Now do you think the fact that we're learning of Mama Vanessa's demise in this excessively expository fashion is simply more fuel for the Julio death pool, or is it just an expeditious method for advancing the plot without wasting an entire episode on the likely "Shut Up, Vanessa"-inducing escapades of the distaff side of the Diaz family? I recap, you decide.
Out in Schrödinger's Flat, Lisa is packing up Maya's suitcase in anticipation of baby's first camping trip. "Should we bring your baby dead-head onesie?" she wonders, holding up a tiny little tie-dyed outfit. "Or is that too obvious?" It's only obvious if it's her baby BIG-head onesie, my friend. And you know what? I think I've finally realized what it is that freaks me out about Maya. She's just too damn quiet all the time. With the exception of the infamous Keith flushes the toilet incident, I'm not sure we've ever even seen her cry, for God's sake. Now I'll admit that what I know about normal infant behavior could probably fit on an unfertilized ovum with room for a half-dozen sperm to spare, but it kind of worries me that the kid never seems to show any emotion whatsoever. I guess she really is a Fisher after all, although you'd probably expect her to have farted a few times by now if that were truly the case. Nate comes in at this point, carrying a handful of guide books and expounding on the scenic delights which await them high atop "Suicide Rock," which got its name when "a Native American princess threw herself off the rock rather than be separated from her lover." Just for the record, I totally called what happens later with Brenda the instant he said that. As they so often do, Nate and Lisa end up bickering about minutiae, with Lisa concerned about the prospect of sleeping with a baby on the cold, hard ground, and Nate pointing out that the Native Americans were doing precisely that for centuries before the advent of such modern amenities as "Cliff Bars," "spatulas," and the "tent cabin." Frostiness ensues.