Episode Report Card Joe R: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Two Mrs. Scottsons
By Joe R | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 09.30.2007
Celia's in her brand new house, her hair in rollers, as she peruses her divorce papers (and draws smiley faces next to her signatures) and slowly empties a bottle of Stoli. She's on the phone with Sullivan, who wants to know is she liked the dress he sent her. She's all, "Well it's a size 2 and I have actual flesh on my bones so it obviously didn't fit." She finds his presumption "flattering but annoying," though she's probably feel differently if she knew as we do that this is the same red dress he bought to give to Nancy, but she refused. While he sweet-talks poor Celia, he writes "I love your ass" on a notepad and holds it up for an irritated Nancy to see. Yeah, Nancy, I think he's a big turd, too. You can tell by how I didn't let him eat me out last week. Anyway, Celia invites Sullivan over to help her celebrate her newly ended marriage, because bad idea relationships aren't the sole province of Nancy Botwin.
Out behind the bushes...somewhere, Isabelle and Shane are gearing up for their first puff of weed. Ah, the innocence of youth. Isabelle goes first and thinks it's "kinda gross" but she's not exactly putting it down. Oh my God, she's addicted! GATEWAY DRUG! Shane offers that maybe it's "bad shit," but Isabelle's like, "It's the shit my dad gets from your mom." Shane's shocked that Isabelle knows his mom deals, but Isabelle says she never told anyone and promises she never will. She hands Shane the pipe for his first try. "This is that moment when I finally become cool, right?" he asks. "No," says Isabelle, "just stoned." Love these two.
Nancy's in her car, slurping down her frappuccino and trying to stay out of sight while she spies on Valerie and Tim. Tim locks his mom out of the car and starts laying on the horn, because having a dead daddy means you get to act like a pissy little bitch. Luckily, I recall Tim had a lot of practice being a pissy little bitch even before his dad went missing. Nancy stares on, fascinated, and does the mental checklist in her head: "Single mom, dead husband, unbearably pissy kid...if this lady has a meth lab in her basement, we could be twins!" Nancy follows the Scottsons to karate class, where Tim, on his way in, proceeds to wind up and kick one of his classmates square in the goolies. Valerie runs up and asks the kid if he's okay (kid: "He's not okay! Get him some help!"), then asks him if she can bum a smoke while he writhes in pain on the sidewalk. Ha! Yeah, I'm with Nancy (who is now taking a pic of Val with her camera phone) (yes, I call her "Val" now): this lady is awesome. She then follows her to work, parks out front all day, sketches her face on a sandwich wrapper (!), and finally looks on with admiration as Val tries to argue her way out of a parking ticket.