Episode Report Card Kim: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I Have Nothing
By Kim | Season 16 | Episode 7 | Aired on 04.09.2013
Brooke is backstage with some of the safe couples. Kellie really loved dancing while her husband sang. She loves her husband a little TOO much, you know? Like it creeps me out a bit. Zendaya is growing every day. She's already taller than Val. She needs to stop growing. Brooke tells Sean that next week he will be compared side-by-side with pros doing a dance. That sounds...interesting? But a little early for that. Like save that for the finals.
The spotlight dance this week features a blind teenaged dancer who gets to do a duet with Derek. It's lovely. I love that Derek is her favorite if only because I figure it must really chap Mark's hide.
Andre Bocelli is on hand to sing with Jennifer Lopez. Anna and Val dance together while they sing. Is Jennifer Lopez rebranding herself as a nightclub act or something? Because that's what this feels like. This song could fit in on a '70s variety show or something. I keep expecting Tony Orlando to wander out in a powder blue tuxedo and remind me to tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree. You are only going to understand that joke if you are over forty. I'm sorry, youngsters.
Brooke is backstage with the couples waiting for their results. Lisa admits she doesn't remember much of last night. DL makes some jokes about not needing tanning spray and how he got a 7 from Len, which is a sign of the apocalypse. Victor doesn't have much to say. He's a fighter, not a talker. Andy says he doesn't want to leave, but he's happy that he got to do that dance for his daughter.
When they show the highlights from last night, we learn that Lisa was vomiting right before her performance, and I was totally right about Lindsay talking Victor through the whole dance.
Time for more results! DL and Cheryl are safe. DL is shocked. Doesn't he know he's paired with Cheryl? He's not going anywhere until they pick off the new pros. Speaking of new pros, they are all in jeopardy: Lisa and Gleb, Andy and Sharna, and Victor and Lindsay are waiting to find out which of them are going home. Don't get me wrong; they are probably the bottom three dancers, but DL should also be in there by all rights. I'd say last night, Andy was better than DL too.
So those three couples are waiting to find out the results. Andy and Sharna are safe. Phew! I would have been sad to see Andy go home for that particular dance. Victor and Lindsay and Lisa and Gleb walk down to the bottom of the stairs and stand there. And stand there. And stand there. And finally Tom tells them that Lisa and Gleb are going home. I'll miss Gleb's abs, to be sure. But Lisa was pretty useless. Maybe she's awesome on her reality show, but she was dull and kind of annoying here.