Episode Report Card Cate: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pathetic
By Cate | Season 6 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.13.2002
In the backyard, Mary is trying to shoot baskets, but she keeps missing. It's kind of sad that she's only ever had one talent in life, and now she doesn't even have that anymore. As RevCam walks by, Mary starts bitching to him about how Wilson has moved, and how she doesn't think it's fair that he gets to decide that their relationship is over. How very…stalker-ish. Eric has the momentous task of explaining to his dimwitted daughter that it doesn't really matter whether she wanted her relationship with Wilson to be over; the point is that Wilson did, and so he gave her the old heave-ho, which means the relationship is over. Mary has to ponder that for a bit. I know, it's a pretty difficult concept to absorb. RevCam explains that he and Annie don't think Mary is really in love with Wilson anyway, or she wouldn't have kissed that hunky firefighter dude in Buffalo. Hey, speak of the devil! There's Ben the firefighter striding across the lawn right now! For real. So how does this work, exactly? All I have to do is talk about an object, and suddenly that object will appear before me? Okay, by now I sure could use a vodka-and-seltzer, with lime. Make it a triple. Hmm -- no drink yet, and it's too cold to trudge down to the liquor store. Damn. Maybe this trick only works in Glenoak.
In an event which is about as statistically likely as Ben showing up at the CamPound, we see that Simon has smashed Robbie's car into Dopey's. Mind you, this didn't happen in the driveway or anything. No, it's on a street somewhere, and of all the people Simon could run into, it had to be Dopey. Obviously, Glenoak's jam-packed with stupid people, since even though Dopey, Robbie, and Simon have all gotten out of their cars and are assessing the damage, some dumb-ass behind them keeps honking her horn. Hasn't she ever seen an accident before? She finally figures it out and pulls past them. But then, just as Simon is insisting that he's "so dead," another car pulls up behind them and starts honking. What is wrong with this town?
A cop hands out a ticket and a lecture, informing Simon that he can't drive with his learner's permit unless he's accompanied by someone who's over twenty-five. Simon should have argued that he didn't want Robbie behind the wheel because of Adam LaVorgna's alleged drug use. Then again, maybe not. The cop starts to leave and then turns back, asking, "Why do you look familiar to me?" Simon scrunches up his brow and says, "Um, because you just gave me a ticket," which is a pretty funny line. It turns out the cop remembers Simon from the infamous "very low-speed car chase." After the cop leaves, it's time for Dopey to give Simon another of his big-brotherly lectures, but I'll spare you the details.