Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT All Work and No Play is Unheard of by These People
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.29.2000
Cindy drags Richard into an office and bitches him out for almost telling Mark her secret. Richard protests that Mark's his friend. "I've had boyfriends before. Things have been just fine," says Cindy. Richard asks how, as if it's any of his business. Cindy tells them that she's Catholic. "I'm confused. Catholic girls have penises?" Richard asks. Cindy tells them she's against premarital sex. "I'm still confused," says Richard. "What other kind of sex is there?" He promises that he won't tell Mark but says that it's hard to sit back and watch his friend get hurt. Cindy asks what makes Richard so sure Mark will get hurt. He says, "Oh, no, I'm sure he'll brag to his buddies, 'With my girlfriend, we can play Jack in the Box!' Of course he'll get hurt!" Huh? What is Jack in the Box -- some sort of circle jerk game? Cindy tells Richard that that sort of blatant bigotry is the reason she didn't take the insurance physical. "If you want to call me a bigot, fine. Maybe I am, but the issue here is Mark. You're misleading him," says Richard. Cindy will tell Mark when the time comes. Richard hopes the time comes before Cindy's little secret does "because guys don't like sleeping on somebody else's wet spot." Cindy slaps Richard, making a cowbell noise. "I like that," says Richard. "I will tell him when I am ready. You stay the hell out of it," Cindy says and then storms off. Richard repeats that he liked the slap.
Georgia does her closing argument. She says that the case involves textbook sexual harassment and that Myra is asking for a double standard. "Where does it say that since you're a woman you can break the law? Why should it be different?" she asks. John walks right up to the jury and literally screams, "Because it is different!" Everyone gasps and then the jurors gaze at John with rapt attention as if he's clever or something. John babbles about the way women have been sexually victimized for "hundreds of years." He asks if the jurors felt sorry for the plaintiff, or if they were "trying to make eye contact," hoping they'd get a chance to have sex with Myra, too. Nice of John to assume that all the jurors are into straight women. John says the plaintiff is exploiting laws designed to protect women and that he wants to use the pre-existing double standard to vilify Myra as a sexually forward woman. "If Hillary Clinton had had a little session with an intern, she wouldn't even be running next month. The Democrats would have yanked her out and put in Warren Beatty instead," says John. As much as I hate to agree with David E. Kelley's mouthpiece, I have to agree with that. John goes on and on. "There sits a victim," he tells the jurors. "Say it with me..." They all say, "Please." Then John goes to sit down and Myra grabs his ass. It's my turn to say, "Please."