Episode Report Card Strega: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Happy Club
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 18 | Aired on 09.14.2000
Crichton enters Pilot's chamber, walking with a particularly loose-jointed gait that is funny all by itself. We hear Harvey's echoey voice say, "Frell the greater good." Flash of Harvey sitting in his Command Carrier. He hisses, "Resist. Crichton. Fight them." Crichton pauses, dazed, and then Pilot snaps, "If you've also come to tell me what a wonderful thing the Nebari are doing for you, I am not interested!" Flash of Harvey saying, "Nebari is the devil." Crichton blinks and tells Pilot, "I'm here to tell you that the Nebari are a bunch of geeks!" He goes into a modified Nicholson as he adds, "And their damn mind-cleansing doesn't work on Momma Crichton's baby boy!" He races toward a surprised Pilot and climbs over the console as he raves, "John Crichton! Astronaut! Master of the universe!" He calms down slightly and assures Pilot that he's okay, even if he doesn't know why. Crichton says there was a flash, "And it was like it was soaking up the drug." Pilot confirms that the Nebari don't know that Crichton's unaffected. Crichton goes all surfer and sing-songs, "I drool with the best of 'em, duuuuude." Pilot looks pained. Heh. Pilot explains that Moya is headed for a Nebari outpost, and Crichton asks if he can "veer off course, slow down or something?' Pilot says that Aeryn regularly comes in to check on their progress. He complains that there's a Peacekeeper patrol nearby, and he'll be killed instantly if they Starburst. Crichton sighs, "Well, keep cussin', man. I sure as hell can't get this collar off without some help." He climbs back over the console and heads for the door.
Chiana's chained up in the cell again. Varla lectures her about how this is all for the greater good, and then Crichton bops by in the corridor. Varla opens the cell and asks what he's doing, and Crichton spacily says, "Y'know, Moya's amnexus system is, like, in flux so I'm just, sorta, y'know, lookin' for the source." He stares around the corridor uselessly. Varla asks if the problem affects Moya's speed and safety. Crichton pffts, "Ch--yuuh!" Heh. He goes on, "It'd totally screw the pooch, babe!" Varla thanks him for helping, and leaves the cell. Crichton bounces his head and says, "Cuh-ool. It's for the greater good!" He's enjoying this far too much. Once Varla is gone, he dances into the cell singing, "She's gonna getcha-getcha-getcha," He grabs Chiana by the waist and, in normal tones, asks how she is. Chiana tells him to go away. He moves behind her, one arm looped around her torso, and whispers into her ear that he's not cleansed. "Yeah, right," Chiana sneers, and struggles to throw him off. Crichton grumbles that he doesn't have time for this. He lets her go, walks back in front of her, and as Chiana asks if this is a trick, he punches her in the face. Then he moves back behind her and grabs her arms. "You're really not cleansed?" Chiana asks, nervously. Crichton lowers one hand out of the frame as he says, "My thoughts are as dirty as ever." Johanna thinks that he's doing something inappropriate to Chiana here. She brings this scene up whenever Crichton's relationship to Chiana is described as sibling-like, and says, "I don't think siblings touch each other that way." Anyway, Chiana is relieved, perhaps in more than one way, and moans that she thought she was all alone. Crichton says, "You're not gonna cry on me now, are you?" Chiana says she won't, but that might change when she asks if he has a plan. Crichton hems, "We got no weapons, the DRDs are switched off, and we've got to find a way to get D'Argo or Aeryn back on our side." Chiana says it's impossible, and explains that the "cleansing" drug has to be metabolized. There are distant crackling sounds, and then the engines seem to slow. Crichton releases Chiana and wobbles dizzily as Chiana asks if he's okay. There's a quick close-up of Harvey saying, "Snap out of it," and Crichton insists that he's fine. Chiana looks at him nervously, but finally mentions that Rygel has "a great metabolism." Crichton agrees, and races out. Once he's back in the corridor he swings his arms wildly and makes "whooo-wowowo" noises as he hurries away. Chiana doesn't look very reassured by that.