Episode Report Card Aaron: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Pest Savant at the End of the Universe
By Aaron | Season 6 | Episode 7 | Aired on 02.15.2003
Later that day, Keller and Schillinger meet up on the steps near Unit B. Chris gleefully reports that Beecher no longer has any idea who's betraying whom, and that soon enough, they'll "give him something to really cry about." Then he plants a yet another big wet kiss on Schillinger, who looks hilariously disgusted as he keeps his eyes open the entire time. Hee! I can't believe he just tongue-kissed Vern in public! That's awesome. On the other hand, it looks like Busmalis's crotch grab may just have been demoted to number five. J.K. Simmons earns the biggest laugh of the night with a perfect "What the hell was that? And did I like it or not?" shrug as Keller walks away.
Hill. Jesus Christ, shut up already!
McManus stands in a hallway somewhere, waiting to meet with that guy from the parole board whom Alvarez punched in the face. For those who like to keep track of these things, Timbo is wearing a blue v-neck sweater, marking what is roughly the eight trillionth time one of those has appeared this season. Does the wardrobe department shop at Sam's Club or something? Because I don't care about this plotline even one little bit, I'll just report that the guy says he'll think about meeting with Alvarez, and that Timmy heads straight to Miguel's pod to deliver the news. Alvarez, who's wearing a blue v-neck of his own, takes it about as well as you might expect, and then returns to staring blankly at a crinkled snapshot of The Widow Cutler.
We dissolve from the picture to the real thing, as Alvarez gets to visit with The Widow in the big happy room this time, instead of the depressing phone and glass cubicles. Miguel has his finest sleeveless t-shirt on, and he cranks the flirting up to eleven as he smiles and stares deeply into her eyes. Widow Cutler starts off caring only about the legal documents she's brought for him to sign, but like many of the men and women in our forums, she's powerless to resist the massive Acevedo charm. And while I personally think lines like "I'd worship at your feet" might be just a wee bit over the top for a first date, I do have to admit that I get the Alvarez love as well. He's like a cute little facially-scarred puppy dog. They end up holding hands and looking around at all the other happy couples in the room. Then she reaches under the table and gives him a hand-job. Psych!
Cut to Alvarez in the cafeteria, grinning like he really did just get a hand-job. Schillinger cuts him off to ask if he's signed everything over like he was told, and Alvarez reports that The Widow Cutler has asked for more time. He claims he's just following orders, and then makes me giggle when he warns the Aryans that they "need to calm down." Schillinger tells his boys that he wants a mole in the visiting room the next time she visits, because he doesn't trust Miguel or The Widow Cutler. This scene is also notable for the quiet look of desperation on Robson's face, as he looks like he's still dealing with the implications of his recent diagnosis.