Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT We Are The Table
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 13 | Aired on 09.08.2008
(So that you would know that I'm happy being who I am, having survived the gauntlet of your parenthood and made myself a woman from my own recipe. That your amends not only mean nothing, but are unrequired. Thank you, for giving me the opportunity to raise myself. I think I've done a good job. Celia smiles, because it sounds so much like forgiveness.)
"...And tie you up, and lock you in a room, and keep you there until I sell your ass back into suburban slavery. You fucking bitch." Celia's last words, as her head in its amazing hat goes slamming into her plate on the table? "Fucking ... what ...?" Awesome. This is so awesome. It's like they've been reading my diary. This is the coolest thing I've ever seen on TV. "Tell Daddy Dean I want $200,000. And tell him to be quick with the cash, or we're gonna start sending him body parts." I cannot believe -- I mean literally cannot believe -- how much I've just come to love Quinn Hodes. The girl who did nothing interesting, ignored Silas on her last day in town, and then disappeared. I love how she's managed to combine the revolution of all children with actual South American danger revolution. I love how without Celia she's decided to become a woman on her own terms, and actually seems to have become even more frightening and awesome than her mother. How she's managed to become what her mother only wishes she could be.
"Revolution is a very sad affair," Rudolfo lectures, "But these tears are shed in the name of greater good." But if Quinn's become who I think she ... Oh, hell yes. That's my girl:
"Yeah? Well, fuck you and your faggy revolution. I'm taking my money and I'm movin' to Belize."
Quinn Hodes just went from the most boring character to my favorite person in the history of time. I wish we could stop here.
Twenty miles from the border, Nancy is remembering that she has no gift for her son's birthday, that he's not having dinner with either of the MILFs of his acquaintance; that she's letting him down so often and so regularly that she's actually having to invent new ways to fail him. The firstborn, like Quinn; the biggest mistake, like Quinn. She fights with the 411 woman for a good long while about getting him a gift, a something deliverable, a gift basket, and finally talks her into just telling her the first thing she finds. I've tried to do this with 411 and they are mean people when you do that, but then, I'm not Nancy Botwin. "Anything for a ... son, who thinks his mother's completely failed him?"