Episode Report Card Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Very Guido Christmas
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 07.10.2011
Albie and Joe start talking, and Joe tells Albie he needs to find someone like Melissa to get his "exercise" on with. Caroline says they're obviously of the younger generation, which cracks her up. Teresa brings up Antonia's recital and says she wishes she was invited. Mistake #1. Melissa takes a big swig of wine after telling Teresa she was upstate with the Manzos and Lauritas. She wonders, in turn, why they weren't invited to the weekend getaway. Which is really beside the point because obviously they wouldn't have gone on account of the recital, which probably would have fueled their nonsense conflict further. Still, there's not a tension-filled moment that either Teresa or Melissa won't jump on. Caroline tries to cut off this conflict at the pass, saying that they'll definitely be invited next time. Jacqueline interview that, since Teresa and Juicy are fun, and since Melissa and Joe are fun, it only makes sense that all together, they'd be fun, too. She declares, "Cut the shit and let's party." Yeah, because this party is so fun right now and not at all rife with passive-aggressive bullshit.
Then there's a completely weird and uncomfortable interlude in which Christopher has Joe act out various emotions for an impromptu photo shoot. For some reason, sensitive involved nipple tweaking. And clearly anger involves table flipping, which everyone gets a kick out of in light of Teresa's antics. After Albert calls it "a Gorga thing," Teresa insists she's only ever flipped one table and that she'll never do it again. Melissa warns the group never to dare Joe to do anything because he will most certainly do it. Suddenly everyone's eyes glisten with evil glee and within seconds they're daring Joe to switch outfits with Jacqueline. Christopher pipes up, "You don't have the body for it," and it is ON. As Joe goes off to change, Melissa tells everyone that the Gorgas are "all a little cuckoo."
Bonus footage: Juicy makes a pass at Greg, and Teresa tries to get in on the action. Greg respectfully declines.
Joe returns wearing a very sparkly frock and stud-walks around the kitchen. Oh dear, it's not even a dress, it's a jumpsuit. And Joe's wearing earrings. One of the guys gets the bright idea for him to do a high kick. Jacqueline makes a mental note to burn that shit right after everyone leaves. Christopher declares the Gorgas "awesome," and Melissa jokes that she is "so not having sex tonight."
The fun quickly gets sucked out of the room when talk turns to siblings. Teresa blurts out that Joe getting married was like losing a brother. Melissa squawks, "You have a sister over here, hello!" They start waving their hands and daring each other to be sisters. Yep, this is going nowhere fast. Caroline interjects to remind them, "You're in a good place! Stay there!" As an olive branch, Melissa invites everyone to her Christmas party that weekend. This backfires when Teresa falls silent, clearly getting territorial over her friends, though she claims she's not worried about sharing with Melissa. Oh, how charitable you are, Teresa! Really embracing the Christmas spirit...