Episode Report Card Kim: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Love And Marriage
By Kim | Season 1 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.22.1999
Noel and Ryan get a table at Epstein Bar. Actually, did it have a different name in the first season? Whatever. You know what I mean. They both order beers, and the waitress asks Noel for ID. Noel tries the old "I left my wallet at home" trick. Ryan interrupts and says that Noel is actually Ryan's older brother but has great skin. They reminisce about fake IDs of ages past. After a pause, Ryan says that there's something he wanted to talk to Noel about. Noel thinks it's about Amy, Ryan's girlfriend, but Ryan says that they broke up a year ago. The waitress brings their beers, and once she leaves, Ryan says, "Turns out, I'm gay." It was a very Christian Slater line delivery there. Noel refuses to believe it, like, why would he lie about that? Ryan says he knows Noel is upset. Noel looks terrified, and then says that he's not upset; he's just surprised. Noel processes this, and then says that it's okay. Well, good thing Ryan got your permission to be gay. Ryan asks what Noel is thinking. Noel isn't sure. They sit there in an awkward silence.
Late that night, Noel and Felicity discuss the issue in Noel's room. By the way? Still unrealistic that these two haven't had sex yet. Noel thinks that Ryan may be going through a phase, or be experimenting. Felicity says it sounds like Ryan is pretty sure. Noel says that in high school, Ryan was the "king of studs," and that he was the same way in college. Noel explains how great his girlfriend Amy was, and that any guy would kill to go out with her. Felicity is silent, letting Noel realize what he just said. Noel says it has to be a phase, because people don't change that much overnight. Noel realizes that he never even told Ryan about the exhibition. Felicity suggests that Noel tell him at dinner. Noel doesn't think Ryan will want to go after the way Noel reacted. Noel apologizes and asks how Javier took Felicity's news. Felicity admits that she told Javier she would marry him. Noel says, "Wow, it just keeps getting better." Okay, I admit that Felicity marrying Javier is a dumb idea, but it really has nothing to do with her relationship with Noel. In conclusion, get over yourself, Noel.
The camera pans up a leg to reveal Meghan giving herself a fake tattoo on her thigh. There's a knock at the door, and Javier walks in, looking for Felicity. Meghan crabs at him. Javier introduces himself as Felicity's fiancé and then comments favorably on Meghan's clothes and jewelry. Meghan wants to go back to the fiancé part. Felicity walks in. Meghan asks how much Javier is paying Felicity to become his beard. They both protest, and Felicity explains about the green card thing. Meghan is surprised. Felicity tells her more about the situation, and Meghan thinks that it's great, and asks if Javier is buying Felicity a car. Meghan explains that it happened to her friend. Felicity says that Javier isn't buying her a car. Javier asks if he's supposed to, and Felicity tells him he doesn't have to. Javier says that his lawyer said they have to make the engagement look real and pulls out a ring box. He holds it open and tells her to take it, then claps the box shut on her hand, explaining that he saw that on Pretty Woman. Aw. I would marry Javier. Felicity giggles.