Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: B | 4 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The 09 Is Even Worse Than You Thought
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.15.2005
"Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon, and wise too late. Ben Franklin." This is actually how I fell in love with Logan to begin with: the daily phrase. I still think it's one of the most telling parts of his character: not only the things themselves, which always point toward qualities I admire, but just the impulse to do it at all. That's a boy I'd like to meet. Veronica's voicemail message to Logan? "The good news is, I'm perfect the way I am. The bad: your plastic surgeon is a mensch." Just then, the mensch -- who was supposedly off fulfilling some professional duty -- takes off in his car. Piqued, Veronica follows him.
Dick enters the pool area (stupid A&F t-shirt du jour: "Going Commando") and tosses a shopping bag at Kendall: "Don't say I never gave you nothing." Kendall's impressed that it's not on fire. Which is funny, because it contains total shit: she pulls out a maid's outfit. "That's what you'll be wearing when you dust my armoire," Dick says, managing to make "armoire" sound filthy. You know, with all the HoYay! that goes on in Neptune, the best of all possible HoYay will be when Dick turns out to be the gay Casablancas brother. That will be a good day on more levels than I can currently count. Dick exposits that Mamablancas signed off on the trust-fund thing. Trust Dick to see it as horribly, and probably truthfully, as possible: it's because she's gotten used to life sans Dick and Beaver (50% right, babe), and doesn't want them around or living with her. Beaver's heartbroken, of course, Dick says, but Dick personally sees it as "a chance to bond with my new mom!" He hugs Kendall, and she looks horrified.
Dr. Griffith is at the cigar store on Ocean Avenue, because in Neptune that's what doctors do: smoke cigars, play golf, run sex cults. Veronica waits a while, getting more and more grossed out about the whole "You're beautiful, I have to go" lie, and then heads inside. She asks the dude for a Cuban cigar, for her dad, and things are irritatingly business-as-usual, and behind her is a sign written by a crazy person all about CEDRIC THE PIPE EXPERT and how he's at the shop from 10-3 on Thursdays to teach about pipes. I picture Cedric as a nineteen-year-old in a tie-dyed shirt, but then, I'm from Austin. And knowing this show, Cedric's probably some stoner dude from the alternate teaser for 1-17 who had a line which ended with a word that rhymed with "pipe." See how intimidating to recap? There's a pipe glued to the sign. Well, not a pipe. A picture of a pipe. Heh.
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