Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Legalité, Libéré, Sororité
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.16.2008
He reiterates that she is banned for Gio's Deli and Gio's Life, and she straight up tells him he's wrong and that he is not allowed to bust this particular move, but the real problem is that he called her on her essential Ugly Bettiness, because without that what is she? "I am a very nice person. And you can't hate me, because we're friends!" Not getting the logic there, but the response is amazing: everything goes black and white and he shoots scary red lasers from his eyeballs, down the hall, up her spine, into her fear centers. It's awesome. Betty understands on a basic level that Gio is no longer fucking around, and gasps. "OMG! He hates me!"
Later in Daniel's office, she's complaining that Gio suddenly hates her, even though the truth is that he's hated her as long as he's known her, but all she wants to do is make it up to him, and finally she notices that Daniel's hand is in a pitcher of ice from where he slugged a tranny in jail, and Betty, hilariously, is like, "Daniel, we talked about you fighting! You suck at it!" Like she sat him down. I love that. He won't tell her what happened, because the weird logical leap you have to make this week is that he's hell-bent on keeping DJ's paternity a secret from Betty. That's like all he cares about is kidnapping a Freedom child and making sure Betty doesn't know who the father is. It doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense, but at least this week they attempt to explain it.
"Oh, okay. Because yesterday, you had me check a mole on your 'lower back,' but today boundaries?" She applauds this development/hypocrisy, but doesn't actually care about any of this anyway, because OMG what if a rude sandwich maker whom she treated horribly continues to be both rude and in pain? Daniel immediately recognizes the particular Scamorza she's talking about, because his friend Mario uses it, and Betty OMGs because Batali is Gio's hero, and instead of doing some awesome thing like actually introducing Gio to Mario Batali or setting up a lunch date at the sandwich shop, she just commands Daniel to get some of this magical cheese from Mario so she can give it to Gio. Daniel tries to mention how things are really dicey w/r/t DJ right now and he's got a lot on his plate, like kidnapping for example, and Betty just screams at him to get the cheese with crazy wild eyes and Twinkie froth all on the mouth. I do love Betty when Gio's around, don't you?
Marc brings in Wili's coffee, and without looking up she asks unctuously, "How's my baby?" He starts giggling and hopping and bouncing all around because he apparently gets squirrely when she call him that, and then her scary plastic visage goes, "Face?" and he realizes she's asking about the real baby. Okay, well Christina and "her terminal Scotsman" are apparently at a spa somewhere, and are malingering. Wili tells Marc to remind Christina that her contract "limits extracurricular womb activities," and he fights on behalf of all of our rising lunch when he promises to make the attempt to say those words without killing himself. They discuss how Alexis got off with community service -- "If I knew this was the way the system worked, I woulda tried to kill more often," quoth Wilhelmina -- and Marc is just incensed: Christina tries to off Wili's offspring and gets off with a slap on the wrist. Altogether an offing outrage. Oh, Marc. You'd look much better out of those puns. He follows Wili around as she processes the situation aloud, agreeing with every statement no matter how contradictory, until he's worked himself into a corner, and asks what the eff she's talking about. "Get your lips off my ass and get the DA on the phone." Dude, a good assistant can do both.