Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Murphy's Luck
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.29.2000
Outside the Police Building. The lazy Ps walk to Prue's car, which is (natch) parked right there in front. Phoebe praises Prue for casting a spell that packed so much "punch." Prue says she just spoke from her heart. Hey, I was there; it came more from her nasal passages and was delivered with all of the emotional impact of a Ben Stein soliloquy, but whatever. Pheebs pouts, because in contrast it took her many tries before she first got a free-lance spell to work. Prue concludes that "it must be [her] lucky day." She starts the car, and backs out of the space just before a three-ton anvil falls and crushes the convertible. But in her haste, she rear-ends a passing police car. Phoebe is knocked unconscious. Mummy Clean, back in his Johnny Cash wear, looks approvingly at the accident scene and mutters, "Your turn to be cursed, witch!" like "Nyah, nyah, you're it." Oh, how disturbing. Not.
The Gap presents the musical, "Tech Vest Side Story." This is SO lame and cheap. What is this, a Kennedy High School production?
P3AD. Leo, still a bit stunned, tells Piper that she can't seriously expect him to act like he didn't hear what she just told him; everything's changed. Piper tells him that Dan's "out of town" and the dumping will play out when he returns. Leo wants to know when. Piper says, "Next Thursday." Owen marks his calendar. (SPOILER: This date was completely accurate.) Prue come into the club with Phoebe. Phoebe is clutching her neck. Piper asks what's the sitch. Prue explains that they were in a car accident. Phoebe has a mild concussion. I'll spare you Prue's dialogue; it's supposed to reveal that she's taken the accident pretty hard and completely blames herself. At least, I think it is; Shannen delivers it like a greeting through a fast-food drive-thru speaker. Piper is all aghast that the accident was serious enough for the lazy Ps to see doctor. As am I, since people who fall of buildings aren't even going to the hospital in this episode. Phoebe says she just has a headache. Leo holds up a bottle of Aleve. Prue moans some more about the accident. Phoebe assures Prue it wasn't her fault. (Um, actually, it was.) When Prue reaches for the Aleve from Leo, she knocks a box of swizzle sticks to the ground. Khan! They'll have to be counted again! Prue apologizes for being such a klutz. Then she wails about not doing anything right and ponders whether St. M's spell backfired on her. Piper: "Spell? What spell?" Prue's cell phone rings. It's Photo Editor. As they chat, Phoebe fills Leo and Piper in on the Maggie Murphy situation. Leo knows who she is, because he saw "a piece on her on TV." The hell? Was it promoted, "San Francisco woman is unlucky. As news breaks, we're there"? Did Maggie hire a publicist to alert the media every time she screwed up? I'm not getting this. Prue hangs up the phone; she's been told that if she doesn't get the photo of Maggie, she "can kiss [her] career goodbye." Whatever! Someone needs to spray Photo Ed's office for clichés; I bet in a later ep he tells Prue, "I've made you -- and I can break you!" Phoebe says that they need to check up on St. M anyway. As they leave, Prue knocks over a tray full of glasses. Piper freezes it before it hits the ground. Phoebe takes the car keys from Prue "because [she] didn't get collision on the rental." Whatever! First, that's pretty stupid. For another thing, most insurance plans cover you when you're driving a rental, so getting insurance through the rental company is completely unnecessary. Consumer tip over. The lazy Ps leave. Piper just lets the tray of glasses fall and break. Leo gapes. Piper: "What? I'll clean it up later." Word, because no one else lifts a finger on this show. But it turns out that Leo was just supposing that Maggie Murphy's problems have been caused by a Dark Lighter. Hmmm.
Hospital psych ward. St. Maggie is walking a frail, white-haired woman down the hallway while blathering about "sunshine doing her good." Damn, this show patronizes old people. St. M assures the cauliflowerhead that she's "doing fine!" We cut to the lazy Ps being told by a doctor (his back is to us) that St. M's made a "remarkable turnaround." The HELL? This doctor might want to learn the terms "mood swing" and "bi-polar disorder." There's a reason for the seventy-two-hour observation period, you know. Just then I think the doctor's addressing my point by adding, "However, I fear that her recovery is only temporary." But the camera swings around to show that the doc is Mummy Clean and he's referring to his belief that "once you've been out on that ledge, that deep dark place never goes away. It haunts you. It beckons you back." He looks pointedly at Prue and offers the sisters some cyanide-laced Kool-Aid. Actually, Phoebe, to her credit, interrupts him by proclaiming, "That's not true." Word. MC asks Pheebs if she's a psychiatrist. Phoebe replies, "No. But I still think that's not true. People recover from depression." Once again, Phoebe -- word. Writers, what are you making me do? MC assures Phoebe that St. M won't recover; her pain "won't magically go away." Prue asks if they can visit her. MC says of course. Pheebs gives him the stink-eye. MC shoots bad vibes into Prue's camera bag as they walk past.