Episode Report Card Erin: C+ | 1 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT Bucky the Snowman
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.13.2002
Spy Daddy's all, girlfriend! Get a clue! This guy's bad fucking news! Syd's all, but you don't know him like I do! And he's a great kisser (although, I must admit, his teeth kept knocking into mine but, hey, you can't have everything)! Spy Daddy's all, here's a quarter. Go down to the nearest pay phone, plug it in, and call someone who gives a shit. Wake up and smell the java, sweetheart. You don't know the first thing about this dude. Syd's firmly entrenched in her own little fantasy world and totally denies that Bunny may be a backstabbing double agent. Spy Daddy, having existed in the very same fantasy world lo these many years, makes a mental note to start drinking scotch IMMEDIATELY.
Bogota. Nope. Nothing funny to say. Except, of course, how every time I type "Bogota," I just think of "boogers." Hee. Boogers are funny. Ahem. In a scene right out of Hannibal, Vaughn's hanging out with a guy who's wheezing so loud that it sounds like he's got a busted accordion for a lung. The lights are low, so it's difficult to see this guy's face, but what glimpses we're afforded seem to indicate that he's been sliced and diced more than a sheaf of bok choy at a Chinese restaurant.
Borrowing a voice from Marlon Brando in The Godfather, Scary Scar Man informs Vaughn that he never met The Snowman, but that his moniker comes from his method of killing. He prefers an ice pick. See? "Ice"? "Snow"? "SNOWMAN"? Get it? Wheeze wheeze wheeze, Scar Boy tells his sad mutilation stories. WhatEVER. Vaughn presses Scar Boy for leads on Snowman's whereabouts. Scar Boy pulls open a secret passageway and announces that, yes, he has leads, and he'll even contact them himself. WHATEVER. Why in the hell did Vaughn have to go all the way to frickin' Bogota just to hear that Scar Boy has leads and WILL CONTACT THEM HIMSELF? Couldn't they just have done that over the damn phone? Gah. Scar Boy dismisses Vaughn with one request: when they find The Snowman, make him suffer.
Dudes, at this point, if I find J.J. Abrams, I'm gonna make HIM suffer. Seriously. This entire scene was just a waste of tape. Lord almighty. Where's that beer, Willage? I'm thirsty over here.
Ahhh. Amstel Light. God love ya.
Back from the break, we're in Sloane's office and he's sweet-talking on the phone to his almost-dead wife. It's moments like these that are supposed to make us care deeply for Sloane, a man who kills unreservedly one moment, and tells his almost-dead wife he loves her the next. Awww. The conflicted life of a not-so-cold-blooded killer.