Episode Report Card Sobell: B+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT It's Hard Out There For A Linc …
By Sobell | Season 4 | Episode 7 | Aired on 10.06.2008
Scuderi is still yammering on: "One and a half tours in Vietnam. A Purple Heart in a friendly-fire exchange near Hue ... what I learned at Hue, though valuable, also cost me a great deal. Specifically, three square inches of upper groin thigh meat. And with that -- my reproductive and sexual function." Sucre is trying to wrap his brain around why he's there, and Scuderi introduces "Mr. Villalobos" to his comely blonde wife. Apparently Scuderi pre-screens all of his wife's breathing sex toys. Sucre checks out the beautiful Alexa and stammers, "You want me to bang your wife?" Scuderi's all, "I know! And you get a thousand dollars out of the deal too!" If Roland ever found out about this, he'd cry with envy. We cut away before we can see what Sucre decides.
But we do cut to the suite, where everyone's silently waiting around. Linc remembers that pimp roles often include that of being a protector, and snots, "He's got a minute before I'm going after him." No need! Sucre has just strolled in the door. He grabs a beer and chillaxes. Roland rushes over and says, "Well?" Sucre says, "His wife was up there." "AND?" Roland inquires. Sucre hands over Charybdis with a quippy "Stays in Vegas." I want to know what he did with the thousand dollars.
As the Team Scylla away squad walks out of the casino, Roland invents a pretext to linger. Stupidly, nobody calls him on his I-gotta-use-the-little-hackers-room excuse, so everyone is sort of to blame when, minutes later, casino security comes down to where Roland's gaming the slots, reminds Roland that he's banned for life from all Nevada casinos, and confiscates Charybdis. Linc threatens to leave Roland in the desert, but Dr. Sara has a better idea: "Let's get him back to L.A. and let Self sort him out." This promises to be one angry and uncomfortable ride back to Los Angeles. I wish we could see it -- I like to imagine Roland wheedling for an In-n-Out stop in Barstow and Lincoln bellowing, "No Double-double burgers for people who lose Charybdis!"
Back in Los Angeles, T-Bag tries to use his prosthetic hand as an extension tool for opening the gate, only to have it hilariously backfire. His fake hand ends up on the ground, out of his reach. He ends up screaming in frustration. Upstairs, Self marvels, "For a little guy, he has some set of lungs." We find out that Bellick and Trisha are "all taken care of." Self continues, "I'm going to keep T-Bag in protective custody until we get Scylla, then I'm going to make someone at Illinois's [Department of Corrections] very, very happy. But more importantly, what the hell is that room downstairs?" Michael explains that the underground complex leads to the building where they can decode Scylla. (And hey! It happens to be General Von Baldy's office building. Small world, huh?) Michael's found a way to get into the unprotected substructure in what he promises is a 24-hour operation. Everything's coming up Scofield! He and Mahone want 24-hour access to the GATE building, and Mahone seizes on the idea that they can dress up as IRS auditors. Presumably, people will be too busy wetting their pants in terror to question that ruse too closely.