Episode Report Card Keckler: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT There Was an Evil Man Who Had An Evil Furrow
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.28.2005
Over on the Defiant, Soevil gets in a Khannish moment when he yells as they are blown up...
...as Evil Leaper and She-Ho collapse (separately) onto the bed from, like, the ceiling? Can I know? What position were they in where first Evil Leaper lands face-up on the bed, and a few seconds later, She-Ho hurtles face-down on the bed. Seriously, it seems like they may have been off doing their own thing, if you know what I mean and I think you do, and then ran to meet in the middle when they were, you know, sated. Evil Leaper rolls onto She-Ho's back and tells her to erase the ship computer's historical database so no one else gets any revolutionary ideas. She-Ho doesn't say anything as she leans over the side of the bed to pick up an ICE PICK! Okay, no, she gets a glass of champagne and passes it over to Evil Leaper while assuring him that they will "lose all the data on [their] counterparts." She-Ho grabs her glass of champagne wonders if the rest of the fleet will support him. "They're loyal to the Emperor -- they don't really care who it is," Evil Leaper slurs. "By the time the fleet arrives, the reign of Emperor! Jonathan! Archer! will have already begun." He pours his half-drunk glass of champagne all over his face. Not to reign on your parade, but that's not really an imperial name. You might want to look into changing it.
She-Ho giggles as she carefully averts her face so as not to get any of his champagne in her mouth. Evil Leaper starts to pass out. Then he grunts and falls off the bed to the floor with the sheet still covering his nasty bits. She-Ho sort of checks on him before running to the door and letting in...May-Evil! May-Evil regards the crawling Evil Leaper impassively as She-Ho brings his face to hers and they mack. Evil Leaper furrows, stretches one arm out, and collapses. Good night, sweet prick. Wait, he's dead? Oh my god, he's DEAD! THEY KILLED HIM!! QUANTUM'S DEEEEEEAAAAAD! Aw, the writers do care! You know what that is? That's an automatic "A" right there.
She-Ho and May-Evil march onto the Bridge, and She-Ho orders a comm link opened to Gardiner. She orders Starfleet's immediate surrender or else they will begin targeting their cities. Gardiner blusters into view and wonders what the hell she's on about: "Where's Archer -- who the hell are you?" "You're speaking with EM-press Sato," She-Ho announces, "prepare to receive instructions." She smiles. Atta girl! I think what I loved most about this episode is that the forgotten, killed, ignored, and made invisible Hoshi and May-Whozzit finally get to trump everyone and come out on top. In spite of May-Whozzit's redshirt.