Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT One Small Step For Kevin
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 17 | Aired on 02.24.2005
Minuses for subbing this week: None of my top three favorite avatars (Cute Guy God, Mrs. LandingGod, Little Girl God). A Duff. Adam's hair. Pluses: No Drue and his far assier hair. And far more importantly, no more Lucyfer. I'll take it. Happy birthday, Deborah!One other thing. I'd like to refer you to one of my favorite scenes of the season, the end of "Out Of Sight," which dealt with Joan not heeding God's advice, resulting in Judith almost dying of alcohol poisoning:
Joan: You could have been more specific. You could have made me!
Mrs. LandingGod: I can only point things out. Give you choices.
The writers may not remember that anymore, but I do.
We open on a sign that says "Parent Teacher Night." Joan says, "Parent Teacher Night?" I feel like making a banner that reads, "Is there an echo in here?" Grace, whatever-God-they're-using-at-the-moment love her, bitches that it should be called "Tyrant Oligarch Nacht." No, that doesn't make much sense, but I don't care. Stevie perks that it will be fun, because "all of us" will be together. Adam, Joan, Grace, and Luke all look annoyed, but whether their annoyance is with the night or the character is unclear. May I volunteer to break the tie? Seriously, I know these kids are misfits, but Stevie shoehorning her way into their group just bugs me. Stevie walks and talks with an iPod as she asks if she and Adam have to work at the design studio on Parent Teacher Night. Adam: "No, but we can ask." Heh. Adam's growing his hair out, by the way, and it's a problem. I have real empathy for him because I have almost the exact same hair as he does, and it's really hard to do anything with it long because it sort of doesn't go anywhere, not that that's stopping me from presently trying to grow it for, like, the fifty-seventh time in my life, and by the way, it's going about as well as the other fifty-six. But my experience in the matter puts me in a position to suggest that he incorporate two words into his vocabulary. The first is "conditioner," and the second is "hats." Luke says he's going to do a student science presentation, and upon learning that there's no extra credit involved, Grace asks, "So it's for the love of sucking up? You're going to have to get your lips surgically removed from Lischak's a…" While that would be painful for him, the noises she'd make during that procedure are positively frightening to contemplate. Luke says he gets it, as the two of them break off from the group. The other three run into Helen and a woman Stevie calls "Mom!" At the happiness the two display, Joan makes a snarky comment to Adam about how they just saw each other. Stevie exposits that her mom, "Erica Marx," is vice-president of the PTA, and Helen says she's helping Erica with the refreshments. Erica is played by the same actress who played Joyce's friend Pat in the Buffy episode "Dead Man's Party." Since I gave that episode the single worst grade I've given any episode of any show I've ever recapped other than The Mountain, you'll understand if I have some bad associations here.
The adults rope Joan into helping, and she says she'll do ice cream. Yeah, she said a mouthful. Erica leaves, and Helen asks if she can count on Adam and Joan to be guides. Joan says she wants an iPod. Helen: "Okay! We'll pretend that'll happen!" You know, I really would like this show better if it were Helen Of Arcadia. Partly because Helen's spiritual journey really interests me, and partly because Joan has just become right tiresome at times. Stevie offers to lend Joan her iPod, and Joan accepts. The bell rings, and everyone starts to disperse, but Adam catches Helen to ask if she wants him to do "the advanced art presentation." Helen smiles and says she got some other student to do it. She leaves, and Joan asks Adam what that was all about. He's all, "I don't want to do it anyway." Let's give that phrase props for finally graduating from elementary school. Stevie, seemingly sensing that Adam's miffed, bails, and then Adam kisses Joan and does the same. Joan heads off to class, but Female Custodian God falls into stride next to her and tells her to "help Stevie get what she deserves." Oh, God. And here I thought Satan was the one who was supposed to lead people into temptation. Joan wonders if it's a Secret Santa thing. She starts babbling about how she doesn't know Stevie that well, like you don't say, and asks, "What about what I deserve?" But Female Custodian God has already given her a Godwave and left the scene. Man, I never considered that one of the benefits of omniscience is anticipating when people are going to whine, and therefore being able to bail in advance. I want some. Credits.