Episode Report Card Demian: B- | 4 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Hardy Boys Talk Of Killing Time
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.13.2012
...SNOT ROCKET! And it's a very sad evening here at Chez Demian, for Raoul The Big Gay Supernatural Dragon has once again bailed on your faithful recapper, the latter of whom will be covering this episode's wacky time-traveling hijinks most bitterly alone. The damn dizzy lizard decided he'd rather go bowling, if you can believe that bullshit. Yes, he has his own ball. And yes, that ball is pink. I tried to persuade him to purchase something more in keeping with his inimitable personality, like this flaming little number here, but the reptilian heart wants what it wants, I suppose. I feel so betrayed. About his abandonment of me, not about his ball choice. But I'm starting to ramble, so shall we continue? Excellent.
The words "Two Days Earlier" emerge from the inky gloom following this evening's SNOT ROCKET!, and as those words vanish from whence they came, the camera fades up to take in Dashing El Deano, whom we find obsessively trawling the Internet for any and all information on the infamous Richard Roman. A bleating cell phone awakens Darling Sammy, who'd been slumbering peacefully on a nearby cot, and Sam groans and grumbles and stretches for a bit before answering to find Sheriff Jody on the other end, calling from her prowler somewhere deep within the lush coastal rainforests of southeastern South Dakota. Sheriff Jody politely apologizes for phoning at so late an hour, then wastes no time getting down to business. "I got something that smells like you boys," she announces, and Must. Resist. Obvious. Jokes. Seems an unusual corpse has appeared in Canton, Ohio, and according to Sheriff Jody, "the local P.D.'s trying to bury the story and the body." And why would the local constabulary want to do such a thing, I'm sure you're asking at this point? Because, as Sheriff Jody explains, "when it went missing, it was a perfectly normal grad student named Charles Durbin," but "when it turned up, the thing was mummified minus the wrapping." In addition, the late Mr. Durbin's dehydrated remains were "the second body found like this" in the same number of weeks, so Sheriff Jody quite naturally assumed this was the boys' sort of thing, and she figured she'd give them a friendly heads-up about it all. A still-groggy Sam promptly promises to look into it all, thanks Sheriff Jody for the intel, and hangs up to fill Dean in on the details, after which he eyes Dean's glowing laptop and opines, "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I hope you're watching cartoon smut, 'cause reading Dick Roman crap over and over again is just self-punishment." Dean takes a moment to consider this statement, carefully and deliberately shuts the laptop's lid, and sniffily counters, "It's called 'anime,' and it's an art form." Hee. Yeah, keep telling yourself that, you pervert.