Episode Report Card Djb: D | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Love Pope
By Djb | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 08.01.2000
Maybe Keller should have reconsidered his whole "not dying" decision after all. Back in the ambiguously gray room containing Suited Lawyer Man, Beecher, and his parents, the damning implications that Keller is a bad, bad man continue in the form of Suited Lawyer Man's "findings" that if anyone on the inside could be responsible for the disappearance of Gary and Mabel or Bertha or Muriel (or whatever antiquated prewar grandma name the girl has been cursed with. Oh, wait, it was Holly. Holly is a very pretty name), all signs point to Keller. Beecher tells them all that this is impossible, once again expressing his certitude that Schillinger is responsible. Back story, folks? Come along, with Suited Lawyer Man as your guide: "Keller broke every bone in your body...armed robbery, assault, kidnapping. Police suspect him of raping, torturing, and murdering several homosexual men." But it's not him who had the kids kidnapped, y'see. Mom wants to know how he can be so sure. Well, mom, y'see, it's like this. He knows Chris "intimately." Eh? "He's my lover." Wow. If you want to shut up a room in a hurry.
In a scene that plays almost like straight-up slapstick, in which two devious criminals run amok in the mail room while the dunderhead guard dawdles on the side as packages containing guns, knives, and nail files buried in conspicuous birthday cakes glide effortlessly into Oz, Schillinger's young sidekick notes a package regarding some actual concern and calls Vern over. Schillinger regards the x-ray screen for a moment, utters a pretty authentic version of surprise, and calls Officer Claire "Is a Fat Girl's Name" Howell over from the constant tending it must take to keep up such unfluctuating bangs to show her the what's what. What the bloody heck is that? Oh, that? Well, that's a child's hand. Cue Beecher in his pod, lamenting the badness further, holding a pillow and rocking and moaning. Keller lies awake. Across the way, Morales lies awake. Upstairs, Said prays. In my apartment, no hilarious punch line on the status of things with Beecher immediately jumps to mind.
Glynn enters the hole to acquaint Mobay once more with the lost luxury that is his clothing, and Mobay puts the ol' government-agent spin on things by telling Glynn that "a few days in the hole only increases [his] credibility with Adebisi, Pancamo, and Morales." I can barely even hear the dialogue that ensues over the loudly ticking clock that is Mobay's remaining time alive. Hello, Toledo? We can see it coming. It can leave the station now. Just thought you should know.