Episode Report Card Pamie: A | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT A Christmas Rory
By Pamie | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.19.2000
CuteDean is returning with the coats but is stopped by Philllipppe, who says, "You know, we haven't met." "No, we haven't," CuteDean says. Philllipppe: "I'm Tristan." CuteDean: "Ah, yes. We have." He says that Rory's mentioned him to CuteDean. "She has?" Philllipppe asks. CuteDean: "Yes, but I wouldn't get quite so excited about it." Philllipppe asks if Rory said something "mean." CuteDean says that Rory called him a jackass. "Really?" Philllipppe asks. CuteDean says that Rory doesn't use words like that, so he was actually embellishing a little. "Oh, so you're the big strong protector? Little princess needs a protector?" taunts Philllipppe. At this point, Rory sees what's going on and starts to walk over. Philllipppe says, "I just don't like your girlfriend, that's all." CuteDean says it doesn't look that way to him. CuteDean's voice is getting lower as this scene progresses. Philllipppe says he doesn't care how it looks to CuteDean. CuteDean backs up a step, raises his hands and says, "Hey, you got in my path, not the other way around." CuteDean tries to walk around Philllipppe, but Philllipppe side-steps into his way. This continues. CuteDean's all, "You're kidding, right?" Philllipppe asks if CuteDean is going somewhere. "Get out of my way Dristan," says CuteDean, which is the lamest line that Gilmore Girls has ever had. Since Philllipppe has clearly heard that insult about seven thousand times, he says, "Well, aren't you clever?" Rory steps in between the two of them. I must say, I never like the boys fighting over a girl thing in real life, but since this show lives in my fantasy life, it's okay here. CuteDean and Philllipppe continue that boasty cool-guy way of snapping off witty lines at each other about how they're just the best of friends. Rory says they should go. "Oh, why?" Philllipppe asks. "Little girl's gotta be home?" "Stop!" CuteDean warns. Philllipppe makes an incredibly lame joke about a buggy and a barn raising ["That was lame. I was watching this episode all alone and I actually said, aloud, to the TV, 'What the hell does that even mean?' and wished CuteDean would ask the same thing." -- Wing Chun], and CuteDean decides it's time to leave. Philllipppe side-steps again, this time blocking Rory's way. CuteDean puts out one arm and pushes Philllipppe back, yelling, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "You will not push me again!" Philllipppe shouts. The partygoers are starting to pay attention. CuteDean: "Are you seriously trying to act tough? You're wearing a tie, for God's sake." ["That, on the other hand, was a good line." -- Wing Chun] Philllipppe gives him the, "Outside! Now." CuteDean says he's not going to fight him outside: "It'd be like fighting an accountant. I'll call you when I need my taxes done." This time Philllipppe does some major shoving, and everyone stands up to get involved. People pull the two boys away as CuteDean yells, "You don't want to fight me, Tristan!" Philllipppe: "Why not?" CuteDean: "'Cause I'll kill you, idiot!" He breaks away from the boys that are holding him and starts to walk to the door. Man, he's tall. "Come on, Rory," he says to her, and she turns and leaves with him. Philllipppe breaks away and walks towards them. CuteDean turns around to stand right in Philllipppe's face and says, "You will not come near her ever again." CuteDean walks away as Fraulein says, "Wow. That was good." "Whatever," Louisa drones with a smile. Philllipppe starts to walk away and Paris runs up to him, asking if he's okay. He raises his hand towards her face and walks off without saying a word. Louisa is suddenly at Paris's side, asking if she really brought her cousin to the dance. Paris walks off. Fade to commercial.
Once when I was fifteen some boys broke into my house and stole some things from me. They returned most of my things on the bus the next day because the guy they all looked up to told them it wasn't cool. They never returned my copy of Pink Floyd's The Wall. They lied and said they didn't have it, and their head guy eventually decided it wasn't worth his time. One year later my boyfriend's best friend Marshall, who was this really big, really cute, really nice guy walked up to them in the hallway the day after he heard my story about the break-in, threw both of them against a locker and shouted, "You fucked with my friend Pamela?" "I didn't know she was your friend, man!" they shouted back. "Anything of hers you still have you fucking return, do you understand?" That tape was back at my house before Marshall even lowered those guys back to the ground. Still, I think of that. I hardly knew Marshall, and he did that for me.