Episode Report Card Cate: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT In The Blink Of An Eye
By Cate | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.29.1996
Annie rings the doorbell of her parents' house and then walks right in, literally two seconds later. She takes forever to walk through two small rooms, calling out for her parents fifty million times, even though it's obvious they're not home.
During the commercial break, Annie phones hospitals in the area. I'll bet she rudely hung up on all the people she spoke to, too. When her parents come home, she freaks out on them. Stupid, unbelievable dialogue ensues. Annie hassles her parents about coming to Glenoak, which is pretty rude of her. On the other hand, it turns out that Grandma had been planning to take a hot-air balloon ride, and that's why she and Gramps cancelled their trip to Glenoak. Haw! Burn on you, stupid Camdens! I can honestly say that I've never had even the slightest desire to ride in a hot-air balloon -- quite frankly, I'm terrified of heights -- but I would totally jump at the chance to get airborne if it got me out of a stay at the loathsome CamPound. Anyway, I'll bet this is just poor writing and bad motivation rather than an outright diss on the Camdens, but it still cracks me up. It reminds me of what Miss Manners calls the Lame Excuse, which is designed to let someone know you don't care for their invitation (or for them) without being overt about it. My favourite is the one my husband used when we were dating, and he got an invitation to a party given by this gun-totin' freak who lived across the street from him and had spent some time trying to get Mr. Cate to break up with me. Instead of even trying to make up a believable excuse, Mr. C just told him he'd love to attend but that he had to fix my toilet that night. I listened in on the other extension, and when Mr. C hung up the phone, we howled in delight, like the petty, immature people we are to this day.
Oh my, did my attention wander again? I'm sorry. It's just so hard to focus when the show is this dull.
It turns out the GramRents have been doing all sorts of wild and crazy activities because Grandma's, you know, got reservations at Chateau Eternity. Annie seems to have a hard time accepting this new version of her mother, especially when Grandma confesses that she wants to participate in a three-way with her gardener and the Avon lady. No, really, she does! I don't know how that got past the censors. Heh. Grandma asks Annie if Glenoak has any water parks. When Annie says that there are two of them, Grandma finally agrees to visit. Wait -- but the prospect of spending time with the grandchildren couldn't lure her to town? Because they're less important than going to a water park? Okay, got it. That's some mighty fine family value-ing you're doing there, Ms. Hampton.