Episode Report Card Pamie: B+ | 7 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Sniff!
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.11.2002
Lorelai pushes Rory over to Luke's coffee table. Bad news: the coffee isn't ready yet. Lorelai pouts until Luke hands her his secret Thermos stash. Rory and Lorelai are very happy to have the coffee. Taylor calls everyone to the floor with a two-minute warning.
[Indistinct conversations] my closed-captioning tells me are happening as we watch the dancers warm up, spin around, and prepare for some hoofing. Kirk and Lorelai do a little Kenickie and Danny face-off, with Kirk's Cha Cha waiting patiently to the side. Kirk sasses off as Lorelai says, "He's going down." Rory: "I hate to bring this up, but Kirk has very little in his life. He has no career, no girlfriend, no car. He lives with his mother; she won't even let him have his own key. The only thing he does have in his whole pathetic, lonely existence is this marathon. If we win, if we take him down, if we take away that last little piece of dignity, then we leave him with nothing." Lorelai: "I wonder if he'll cry." Rory: "My mother, the Howard Roark of Stars Hollow." Taylor begins the countdown. They count back from ten and launch into a big 'ol dancefest. Now, seriously, y'all, it's 6 in the morning. Calm down. People are flipping and spinning to that Big Band song that's not "In the Mood." Some people are dressed up, some aren't. Everyone's dancing like they're getting paid to do it. Much swing dancing. Babette and Morey spin. Andrew's dressed like a Soldier Boy. Jackson and Sookie dance. Kirk's breaking out into a mean Charleston. Swing dancing, swing dancing, swing dancing. Beautiful babies, all money, everywhere. The ref wears roller skates, looking like he just rolled out of Foot Locker. Is the band going to play for twenty-four hours? Because that's much more impressive. Babette squats and Morey does a spin-kick over her back. "I'm done. Let's go," Babette says. They walk off. Dancing, spinning, clarinet solo.
Noon. 127 couples remain. Slower song, now. Kirk and Cha Cha flit past. Lorelai reminds Kirk that dancing is supposed to be fun. "You know what will be fun, Lorelai?" Kirk asks. "Jogging around your prostrate body with that shiny temple of silver importance hoisted in the air for all to see. That will be fun." Lorelai wonders if serious Kirk is more disturbing than non-serious Kirk. Rory says she thinks they're about the same. Lorelai dances Rory over to CuteDean, who I guess just rolled up and out of bed at noon. Thanks for stepping up, Dean. He's wearing a t-shirt with a number on it. Appropriately, that number isn't Rory's. It's almost Kirk's. CuteDean asks how it's going. Rory says it's been pretty quiet so far. Five hours and forty-five minutes too late, Andrew suddenly gets into a fight with his dance partner, outraged that she slept with Liam Neeson at one point in her life. "I don't believe that (a) you actually went out with Liam Neeson and (b) that you would choose to tell me now at this moment that you went out with Liam Neeson!" As he runs off the dance floor, we hear Andrew complain, "I can't stand Liam Neeson!" Rory asks Dean, "See? Fun!" Lorelai: "And no one's even thrown up yet." CuteDean offers to bench himself, making himself the ultimate metaphor, watching Rory dance from the sidelines. "Maybe I'll get lucky," he speculates. You will if you sit over here, big boy. Sorry. Ignore me. Lorelai says, "Oh, that's sweet. Spectator Ken." Hee. Kirk flips Cha Cha right in front of Lorelai, who quips that it's not the Olympics -- it's who's left standing at the end and not how fancy you are getting there. Kirk dances off and Lorelai tells Rory to let her flip her. Rory won't be flipped. "You flip me," Lorelai says. Rory tells her to keep quiet.