Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT All up in your grill
By Miss Alli | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.06.2004
Trump has the last three women brought back in. Stacy, by the way, is carrying a sheaf of notes, which I wish Trump would make her drop. That's what he did with Troy last season, and I wish he would do it again. This is also probably as good a time as any to address the issue of the bizarre outfit Maria's wearing. She's wearing some sort of a black suit with silver rivets on it. Decorative rivets are really a very risky maneuver. I think Broadway musicals about the garment industry are probably the only context in which that's a good approach.
Trump asks Pamela why she brought Stacy into the Boardroom. Pamela tells Trump that the reason Stacy is there is that she "doesn't add one ounce of value." Ouch. As Stacy begins to protest, Pamela says that as a matter of fact, Stacy talks so much that she's actively a distraction. Stacy insists that this is "incorrect," which I don't think you really can, because you're not the person who says whether you add value or don't. You're especially not the person who says whether you talk so much that you're distracting. And I should know, because I talk so much that I'm distracting. When Trump asks her whether she's insulted by Pamela's comments, Stacy says she isn't insulted because Pamela is wrong. Nice try, but that is not a reason not to be insulted. That's actually a reason to be insulted. If the person is right about you, it's not that insulting. (See above, re: the fact that I talk so much that I'm distracting. That's not insulting, because it's kind of true.)
Stacy goes on to read directly from her notes, which not only should you not do in that Boardroom, but you should not do it in court either, so I don't know where she got this habit. She complains about how she was asked to do legal task, and then Pamela complains that she was being "too legal." Stacy claims not to know what this means. I know exactly what it means. It means a lawyer sitting around being proud of herself for nitpicking everything to death, rather than showing skills in choosing the correct issues that need attention, and going from there. Everyone who has any experience with lawyers knows what it means for them to be "too legal." If she truly doesn't know what it means, she doesn't have any experience. I suspect, however, that she knows exactly what it means. Stacy insists that Pamela asked her to think about the task more as a business person, but because Pamela had asked her to be the lawyer, she thought like the lawyer. The stupid thing about that is that if that's the case, then when Pamela asked her to think about it more as a business person, she would have thought about it more as a business person. At this point, she's just being a bitch to be a bitch, because that's what she does. As if I don't hate her quite enough yet, Stacy then uncorks, "I'm not going to act unethically. If you want another Enron on your hands, Mr. Trump, here's Pamela." Enron? ENRON? Because Pamela thought that Stacy was overdoing it double-checking the labels on the Ajax bottles, all of a sudden she's Enron? If Stacy truly cannot distinguish between the importance of those two things, then she is not only a very obnoxious person, but also a shitty lawyer. Because one of the things a good lawyer does for you is distinguish between what is Enron and what isn't. And that isn't.