Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Son of a Bitch, Everything's Real
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 05.16.2011
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Set against the backdrop of Grace's anxiety party surrounding a saint pageant litany thing at school, this one's pretty funny. Kevin's sister continues to maybe exist or at least not matter, while the dad from Wonder Years shows up for a really long boring conversation about Kevin's horrible marriage. Eventually Jackie actually manages to impress Grace by showing up just in time for Grace's big speech.
Of course, the only reason she's there is that Devil Bill invited her over for some drugs, narrowly missed being killed by a gargoyle head, and then was run over by a truck. So Jackie ran away from that whole situation and back to the school in Queens, and we're still trying to figure out what this season is actually about.
Other developments: Kelly Slater has a fondness for young ladies, like jailbait-young, so that's his big fault. Besides, you know, how he's obnoxious to begin with. Coop is still melting down about his moms, and it's to the point where even Akalitus is screaming at him to pull it together. There's a great scene in the middle where Sam acts wussy about treating drug cases because of his recovery stuff, and Jackie schools him in a great way about being of service.
But the weird part is when this PCP OD guy shoves Eleanor in the boob, and she wanders around in a daze for a while and finally ends up getting a hug from Eddie, which Jackie has to witness third-hand because O'Hara's not really interested in showing Jackie vulnerability right now, plus Jackie has ruined them both for other people so now they can only be friends with each other.
Eddie immediately tries to load Eleanor up on drugs, because he's kinda gross, but when Jackie comes in looking to score, he full-on points out that she is a drug addict who is looking to score. Jackie doesn't want to be hearing that, but it's nice to see somebody call her out for once.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!THE DEFINITION OF A MIRACLE
Gracie, in saint garb: "I am Christina the Astonishing. I am from Belgium. I am remembered for my faith, and my violent fits of ecstasy..."
Jackie -- Looking totally like somebody's mom! -- pins in her mouth: "Grace honey, please stay still."
Grace is fairly awesome in this episode, which is pretty much the best episode of the season. Even Kev kind of rules this week. Things actually happen, and most of them are not annoying.
So Fiona keeps asking questions about the bizarrely grim facts of Grace's litany ("I was born a peasant, and when I was 21 years old, I had epilepsy and died") and they have another one of those family discussions of whether or not their religion is creepy.
Kevin, so excited to be acting like somebody's awesome dad: "You're gonna do great, you're gonna knock it out of the park, you're gonna dominate, you're gonna crack 'em and rack 'em and stack 'em and we're gonna be there, snapping pictures."
Grace actually giggles, smiles; you can see the little girl in there for once. Of course, she immediately has a meltdown because Jackie has created wings for the costume -- "If she had wings it wouldn't be a miracle!" -- but for once she seems like a normal anxious kid and not an anxiety-riddled basket case.
"Just try to relax, keep your shoulders back, your eyes straight ahead, keep breathing. What is the worst that could happen?"
THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN
At the diner where everybody goes when they're in recovery, the Devil is fighting on the phone with his interior decorator Greg, who has installed a bunch of naked Greco-Roman sculptures in his house. Considering what happens later, it's tempting to connect this obsession with pagan statuary to Gloria's saint thing to Grace's saint thing, but with this show I find that half the time I don't see the connections that are actually intended, and the other half I see stuff that is patently not there.
Jackie, no bullshit: "Yeah, can I get a hug?"
Devil Bill: Continues talking about interior design; one could call him an interior designer of a specifically demonic sort.
Jackie: "Hug."
Turns out Bill has no hugs to offer -- he's off to Miami to get some drugs tonight. So now there are two problems, because first of all she needs drugs and second of all her drug dealer leaving town is stressful in this whole other way. Jackie's superpower has always been using love to get what she wants, and one of the interesting things about this season is that she's gotten so low that for the first time in her life she's using a drug dealer, right, but in some ways that's actually less stressful at this point because she's dicked her people around so much.
It's kind of like how maybe you feel weird about buying condoms or something, until you have to buy a lice kit for your kid and then suddenly condoms are not that bad, you might toss some condoms in on top to distract people from the lice kit. You know? She used to be too good for drug dealers, but now it's actually less painful in some ways.
Also: Hugs are the only thing that matters in this episode. Keep your eye out for them.
Bill: "Look. After work come by my place, I'll see if I can't scrounge something up for you, okay?"