Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT There's Something About The Dolt
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.20.2004
Oh, Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ on a trike. Now those foul little fairies are going around the table rather unctuously proclaiming what they're thankful for this year. How...Baptist of them. It sounds more like a goddamned Al-Anon meeting than a Thanksgiving dinner. And yes, the huge and indifferently trained dogs are still jumping around and defecating on the carpets. Just so you know.
Feh.
Currently on Charmed, Piper's seated at the table in the nonexistent attic, sticking pushpins into a laminated map of the city spread out before her. She then takes a ruler and a Sharpie and rather intently connects the various pinned map coordinates as the Dolt lopes into the doorway beyond her from the upper stairs. Still focused on the evolving diagram she's been drawing, Piper accidentally pricks her finger on the business end of an as-yet-unused pin and yelps, "Ow!" "What happened?" the Dolt dolts solicitously. "You okay?" "Yeah," Piper mutters, glancing briefly and somewhat dismissively at the ex-husband. "Nothing a little sleep can't fix," she continues as she refocuses her attention on the task at hand. The Dolt rather kindly offers to heal her finger, which for some reason causes Piper to become instantly and disproportionately shrewish. They bicker back and forth and snap at each other for a bit before Piper flatly announces that there will be no blathering through any Issues the two might have, as determining the location of the next demonic attack is far more important. "And I think I just did," she breathes as she uses the established pattern of previous attacks to land on another set of coordinates. The completed Sharpie diagram on the map is in the form of a pentagram. "Naturally," Piper sneers, exhausted, as she tosses the ruler aside. The Dolt, who's apparently continued to root through Cole's discarded clothing in addition to rooting through Cole's discarded plotlines, exasperates, "What do you want from me? What do I have to do to prove that I've changed -- that I'm okay?" Piper's nostrils flare as she inhales sharply, obviously trying to maintain what little remains of her shredded patience, and she rises from the table to angle wordlessly around the Dolt for the door. She stops short, turns, and asks if Phoebe and Raige have finished mixing the latest demon-destroying potion. The Dolt gets loud, snottily observing that Piper's ignoring his question. Piper icily inquires, "So, I have to answer your questions, but you don't have to answer mine?" You might find yourself wondering what the hell happened between these two nimrods over the last week to lead to this contentious behavior, and you'd be wasting your time. We never find out. Naturally. Piper sarcastically excuses herself from the Dolt's magnificent presence and spins on her heel to stomp out of the nonexistent room.