Episode Report Card Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Tina Tumbles
By Miss Alli | Season 8 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.31.2004
The Chapera tribe includes the delightfully obnoxious and suddenly pectorally endowed Rob Cesternino, of Amazon; the less delightfully obnoxious but even more buff Rob Mariano, of Marquesas; the still-more-buff Alicia, of Outback; the always unpredictable Sue, of "Borneo"; Amber "Huh?" Brkich, of Outback; and Big Tom, of Africa. There is much high-fiving on the beach for these people as well.
Appropriately enough -- in what I like to think is a bow to one of the best -- the first comment of the entire season goes to Rob C., who comments that his tribe is "eclectic." "Eclectic," as always, is Optimist for "ragtag." "I can't wait to start wheelin' and dealin'," he says. There will be plenty of time for him to annoy the crap out of me later, but I do find his enthusiasm infectious. And also? Nice smile, actually. Big Tom then interviews that he realizes he's the old man of his group. I'm actually surprised when he says he's forty-eight, because that makes him, like, almost twenty years younger than my dad, and I think my dad looks younger than Big Tom, arguably. ["Yeah, that's forty-eight years of living every day twice, I think, because...wow." -- Wing Chun] "This ain't a little boys' game," he says. "It's for the big boys." Rob M. puts in that this game is "going to be so cutthroat, it's not even gonna be funny. Nobody trusts anybody." There is a pause, and we see him looking intently at his interviewer. "No-body trusts any-body, do ya understand?" he says emphatically, leaning forward. Heh. I hated him mostly, but he has always had his moments.
At Chapera's beach, the tribe opens a piece of mail attached to its planted flag. It turns out to be a map that shows both water and something called "the burnt log." There's a sixth-grade treasure map if ever there was one. I'm sure the burnt log will turn out to be important, but at this point, it's like..."Wow, sure glad they showed us where the log is." As they look at the map, Alicia interviews that the game is different, because they all know quite a bit about each other. She says that you can know better whom to be careful of, and whom you don't have to be careful of, as well as what preexisting friendships and lack thereof may already exist. She also allows that people know her temper is her weakness, and as the team walks into the woods to look for water, she voices over that everyone knows she can be had if you can find the right button to push. I have to say, I think her weakness is her stupid army-green cap. Good Lord. Way to come to Panama directly from your audition for Oliver!. The team looks for north, trying to find its way to the water. When they do find it, the water turns out to be very nasty-looking. Rob M. explains that the water is "highly contaminated," so it's very important that they boil it, which means they need to get fire. He comments that this is actually quite a bit like being dropped off in the middle of nowhere and having to fend for yourself. You know, he's got a great idea for a TV show there. He also clarifies that in addition to the machete, they did get a metal pot/bucket-type item.
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