Episode Report Card Jeff Long: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Avant Bored
By Jeff Long | Season 10 | Episode 12 | Aired on 10.04.2012
At Parson's, the designers are greeted by Heidi who is wearing this gilded cocktail dress that seems influenced by bondage accoutrements. She reminds them of the journey that they have all been on together. She asks them how it feels to make it to the top five and they're all just sort of, "Great." She says that this is the final challenge and the one that will determine who will go to Fashion Week. Sonjia interviews that she can envision herself at Fashion Week. Also, she says that this may be her only chance to get there. That's not the attitude! Heidi says that, for this challenge, she is sending them to a "far, far, far away place" where they will hear about the challenge from Tim and a guest.
I see traveling. They are going over bridges and stuff and now there are trees. Then, suddenly, we see the designers walking down a dirt path. Sonjia interviews that they're all wondering where they are and what is about to happen. It's like they were kidnapped or something and then just thrown out of a van. Then, they arrive at some super manicured garden area that is framing this beautiful manor (or, "castle", as Fabio recognizes it). Dmitry says that it's like a fairy tale and he feels like "King Dmitry". I'm not sure I can explain it, but something about the way he just said that made me sad a little bit.
Finally, they find Tim who is standing with that Billy guy from L'Oreal. Tim welcomes them to Oheka Castle. They are in Long Island. I guess we're flying loose and fast with what we're calling a castle these days. I call that a big pretty house with a nice garden. Maybe I would call it Oheka Abbey. Wait. Take backs. I just Googled this shit and Oheka Castle is the second largest private home in the US, though it's mostly used for weddings and shit because who the hell can privately afford an electric bill as large as the one this place must run. Anyway though, it's definitely a castle.
Billy B., consulting make-up artist for L'Oreal Paris, is wearing a ridiculous outfit. So let me get this straight, we can pick on the Kardashian lady, the one who had all of the other Kardashians (Klinic? Klandestine? Kharity? I'm not looking up her name, seriously, the mom -- I'm talking about the mom) for wearing clothes that are too young for her -- in fact, we're always judging the age appropriateness of women's clothing. You're always hearing about whether a dress is too old or too young for a woman. Well, I want to know how this Billy B. character got in front of this TV camera without someone being like, "You realize, Mssr. B. that you are legit old enough to be the grandfather to anyone that wouldn't look like a clown in that outfit."