Episode Report Card Potes: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Smooth as Silkworms
By Potes | Season 18 | Episode 9 | Aired on 05.02.2012
Annaliese's fortune says, "You can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?" A subtle dig at her runway skills! I like it. Laura's is, "A hard edge makes for smooth sailing," while Alisha's says, "It's a long fall from the top." Sophie is definitely NOT envious of that sucky fortune cookie. Eboni's fortune says, "For what you lack in maturity, you make up in youth." Now that has the syntactical ring of an actual fortune cookie. And then Nigel smashes open his fortune cookie with aplomb. This is probably why he got fired. He releases the fortune inside, which reads, "Your fortune awaits you in Macau!" Confetti appears from nowhere, and models cry with excitement as Nigel tells them that Macau is one of the most beautiful islands in Asia. There is more excitement and screaming as Nigel tells them that they're going RIGHT NOW! This means that everyone gets to pack and jump up and down simultaneously. While all this is happening, we get a little moment in which Catherine tells us her hopes that this competition will give her modeling career a boost. Yeah, she's toast. Eboni, meanwhile, is not particularly excited that she's going to have to be on a plane with five bitches for fifteen hours. Load up on those sleeping pills, honey!
After a break, the girls take a three-second animated plane to Macau! I am on an airplane as I type this, and I can tell you it's not nearly so efficient. Also, the lady next to me is reading Fifty Shades of Grey and whispering conspiratorially into her husband's ear. And they just used their drink coupons. My giant metaphorical fortune cookie fortune simply says, "OH NO." The models are all appropriately wowed by Macau (Mac-wowed?), and thankfully there is not a culturally illiterate ingrate in the bunch. I credit the high percentage of Brits. For some reason, at this moment we get to learn more about Laura's alcoholic parents. They were alcoholics. Oh, you want more detail? Apparently their alcoholism surfaced when Laura was about nine, and from that point forward they became very secluded. Laura wants to be an example for her parents, who are probably too drunk to even see what a great experience she's having.
You know who else had a rough childhood? Yes, Eboni. I know we've heard about Laura and Eboni's painful childhoods in at least four previous episodes, but bear with me. Eboni lived in her grandma's attic, and had to sleep on a blow-up mattress. Probably a low-quality one, because they were so poor. Eboni then tells us that she got a full ride to the University of Washington, but put it on hold to pursue modeling. Well, at least we know that Eboni makes youthfully horrible decisions. In contrast to the rough lives we've heard about previously, Sophie had a great upbringing. However, when she left home she had no financial support from her parents. She's worked hard as a waitress and model and hostess, and is grateful for everything she has now, and for this experience. But did she have to sleep on a blow-up mattress while waitressing? I would ponder this, except that now the middle aged Fifty Shades of Grey couple are clutching hands and snuggling and watching The Hangover 2! Oh no, indeed!