Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Kiss
By Sars | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 02.02.1998
Joey, suspiciously dolled up for a sailing outing, strolls reluctantly down the dock towards Richie Rich's yacht. Richie says, "Wow. You look amazing," and Joey does look quite pretty in this scene. He gives her a hand coming aboard and asks if she's "any relation" to the Carsons his parents know in Palm Beach; she says no, her family is "pretty much Manhattan bound," whatever that means. Richie starts dealing with the equipment, and Joey pitches in to help; Richie asks where she goes to school, and Joey lies, "Choate," and Richie comments, "It's a drag, isn't it?" and Joey says she kind of likes it, and Richie asks, "What's there to like about it?" Joey points out the privilege of going to boarding school, as opposed to getting stuck in Capeside "where nothing exciting ever happens." Richie says the boarding part seems "unnatural," what with the separation from family, and Joey says, "I keep thinking I'll get used to it, but I never do." Then, with their faces about three inches apart, they do a little I-thought-you-didn't-sail, I'm-a-woman-of-many-talents back-and-forth. Cut to a shot of Joey standing at the prow like a figurehead while Richie drives the boat and a Lilithite mewls in the background. I'd like to point out that, for a tomboy, Joey owns a fairly wide array of halter tops. Cut again to Richie and Joey playing Frisbee on the beach -- damn, how much did Whammo pay the producers, anyway? I mean, we see kids tossing the 'bee at least twice in every show! Anyhow. Richie says that his dad "doesn't really work, he just makes money," which seems like kind of an inappropriate thing to reveal on a first date; then he asks what Joey's father does, and Joey fibs that "he's the CEO of a huge conglomerate," and when Richie nosily inquires which one, Joey puts paid to that line of questioning by responding, "One of the nation's best-selling tampons." Richie wants to know, "So what's your boyfriend like?" Joey wonders, "Is this your backwards way of asking if I have one?" Richie just assumed that she did, and she asks why, and he answers, "The way that you carry yourself. You're really hands-off. It's like a clear radio signal, you know?" Joey looks perturbed as Richie says that, if he had a girlfriend, he'd want her to give off the same vibe, and then Joey asks lightly how Richie would feel if his theoretical girlfriend sailed off to the beach "with some mystery man." Richie wouldn't mind, as long as she didn't lie about it, and Joey looks perturbed again as he confesses, "Honesty is still the primary quality I'm looking for in a girl." Damn, those brickbats sting. Joey smiles to disguise her discomfort.
Cut to the film shoot, which has relocated to the Capeside High Football Stadium, and an extremely bumpy hand-held shot of two jockstraps running along and discussing the big game, and a shot of Cliff and Nellie peering at a monitor (whatever) and looking unhappy, with Dawson behind them, carrying a boom mike and making I'm-so-above-this faces. Cliff yells "cut," and Nellie asks if they can get "somebody who's not epileptic" to hold the camera, and the cameraman takes her head off, and when Dawson pipes up with a technique the cameraman can use to steady his arm, Nellie snaps, "Did you say something?" and Dawson, chastened, mutters, "Looking good." Cliff gets up and whips his light meter over his head (whatever), and Nellie tells Dawson to "go fetch" more film from the film lab (whatever). In the chute, Dawson runs into Jen, and when she asks how it's going out there, he responds, "Let's just say that, as a director, your friend Cliff is a great quarterback." Jen reminds him, "Well, we can't all be prodigies." Dawson seethes, "Helmets Of Glory? I mean, can you even say it with a straight face?" Oh, okay, Dawson -- like your creature feature is the lofty peak to which we all should aspire. And by the way, shut up. Jen admits, "Barely." Dawson asks, almost tenderly, "Why are you here? I don't get it -- I mean, except to watch me get humiliated." Jen moves a little closer: "Because I knew you'd be here -- hello?" Dawson smiles as if to say, "Of course," and asks if she wants to work on his film later, if they ever get out of there, and Jen says, "I'd love the chance to work with a real director," and if I didn't know that La Filmette would eviscerate Dawson's "work" in the second season, I would have speeyacked. They agree to see each other later and Jen heads up to the field.