Episode Report Card Kelsea Stahler: A- | 112 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT For Richer or Poorer, In Sickness and Attempted Murder
By Kelsea Stahler | Season 3 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.19.2014
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Since Emily was shot off the side of her wedding yacht, things have gotten a little murky on Revenge and with the last episode until March upon us, it seems things are only bound to get murkier.
Emily continues her charade as the delusional bride and enlists a therapist to help her marriage with Daniel, but that won't fix the part where he and Sarah are treating Grayson manor like their own private honeymoon resort, where evil smiles from former girl-next-door types are practically currency. Emily tries her best to scare Sarah away on her own, preying on the "sweet" girl's former notions of inferiority around Grayson money, but it doesn't work.
Ems later whips out the bigger guns, just as Conrad has unleashed a full assault on Daniel and ousted him at Voulez. Daniel comes home dejected only to find his mistress playing 1950s housewife with a full, gourmet meal made from scratch waiting for him – boldly – on the veranda. Daniel, swept up in the moment, suggests they go to Italy the next day and Sarah agrees. Unfortunately for the not-so clandestine love birds, Emily has brought Sarah's mother back into the picture and mommy dearest disowns Sarah for choosing to be a mistress to Daniel, the man who ruined her life that one time (remember, love sick girl?).
This is too much for Sarah to bear and she leaves Daniel, forcing him to unleash his anger on Emily. Apparently, his anger no longer comes out in extremely violent forms – he simply pushes her onto her bed and then lets her go – but it does take crueler forms. He tells Emily his gift to the world was sterilizing her. The realization that she's lost Aidan and her prospect of bearing children, all to remain in a house with a man who hates her vehemently, takes her down and she wallows in her sorrow, the likes of which we've not yet seen. Of course, her sorrow is matched only by the surprise she experiences the next day when she wakes up in Conrad's hotel room as he thanks her for what sounds like a night of love-making. (Perish the disgusting thought that is all we have to hang onto for two months.)
But it's not just Emily changing her stripes. Victoria is forced to open up when Nolan gives Patrick a police report that reveals his true father. Victoria fights Patrick and tries to get him not to meet his father, but Patrick doesn't listen. Naturally, she follows her son and eventually tells him that Jimmy Brennan was her neighbor and trusted friend who raped her when she was younger. Patrick was the bright spot in the ordeal, but she had to give him to the nuns (yes, this is a real plot point) in order to protect him from Brennan. She simply asks that Patrick not let this define him – as if it's so simple – and when we later see Patrick burning down her art gallery, it's clear her request didn't go too far.
At the same time, Aidan is getting himself into some trouble. Niko is getting closer to the trail of Takaeda's death and Aidan's getting antsy. With Nolan, he devises a plan to get Niko out of the country and on the false trail of the man who killed Declan. That way, Aidan is in the clear and a murderer gets his due – plus Aidan can work on changing Emily's mind without Niko getting in the way and kissing him all the time. (We know he still has feelings because when Emily has a fainting spell and ends up talking to him at Nolan's house, he begs her to speak to him so he won't have to write her off forever.) Unfortunately, Niko isn't stupid and finds Takaeda's katana under Aidan's bed just as she's supposed to be leaving. We can't know what she'll do with it until Revenge is back in March, but you can bet it involves slicing Aidan up rather nicely.
And throughout all this, Jack and Margaux take it upon themselves to agree to live together. Don't they know everything is supposed to be falling apart spectacularly? Are they not committed to this Hamptons disaster?
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Since Emily was shot off the side of her wedding yacht, things have gotten a little murky on Revenge and with the last episode until March upon us, it seems things are only bound to get murkier.
But don't worry, Emily is bound to stay safe and sound for at least the rest of this episode. You'd think things were working out differently based on the absurd amount of blood in her bed in this week's first scene. Niko rushes in because she's determined that she needs to be involved in Emily's life to honor Takaeda's respect for Ems, and she notes that Emily pulled out her stitches in her sleep. Emily apparently takes this explanation at face value, because she has Niko help her by cauterizing her wound with a hot poker, saying that she's got nothing left to lose because Daniel made her sterile. Certainly, this rushed decision made after massive blood loss won't yield any adverse results.
On the other side of the really great neighborhood these people all seem to live in, Nolan confronts Patrick for assaulting him and stealing from him in order to win favor from Victoria, but he's got an ulterior motive. Nolan got his hands on a police report from the '70s that shows who Patrick's real father might be. If this was three weeks prior, it might seem that Nolan was trying to help his former lover, but we're dealing with re-revenge-set Nolan. This information is the spark and the end of a long fuse.
At Grayson Manor, Emily is doing her best to play delusional wifey by enlisting the help of a counselor in her newfound marriage problems. Victoria laughs because she knows this won't build a bridge between her and Emily or Emily and Daniel, but Emily retains her smug composure as usual. Of course, the composure doesn't last long because almost immediately after her cleansing therapy session, she finds Daniel in bed -- rather proudly -- with Sarah. And our "sweet" little girl-next-door has suddenly adopted the sociopathic grin of a more evil woman along the lines of Lydia Davis. Sweetheart, we know Emily lied, but you are still a mistress parading your affair in the wife's face. Have some dignity.
Meanwhile, Conrad's little plan is going swimmingly. After intercepting the final copy of Voulez last week, the bait and switch worked and Margaux's picturesque afternoon with Jack is ruined when she finds a copy of Voulez with Conrad's outrageously false story in it. Conrad, fully aware that the biggest part of his plan is about to be revealed, moves out of Grayson Manor to the South Fork Inn and tells Emily she destroyed his last chance at happiness. Still, he doesn't seem all that miffed because he offers an open door to Emily for whenever Daniel inevitably betrays her (you know, because shooting her wasn't betrayal enough).