By Joe R | Season 8 | Episode 15 | Aired on 07.19.2007
Is it us, or does it seem like every year the Emmys haul out new categories to keep up with the diversity of programming and yet they still have to haul out that "Special Citation" designation just so we know that they realize that When The Levees Broke doesn't really belong in the same category as Meerkat Manor? Our answer, then, is more categories! More! A category for every possible nominatable actor or program! No need to thank us, Emmys. Here are a few to get you started:
Outstanding Backstage Drama
Outstanding Performer In A Backstage Drama
Outstanding Achievement In Spin-Doctoring A Backstage Drama, Physical Abuse Division
Outstanding Achievement In Spin-Doctoring A Backstage Drama, Verbal Abuse Division
Outstanding Performance By A Deadwood Alum On A Show That's Okay But It's Just Not Deadwood
Outstanding Achievement In Camera-Zooming-Inside-Body-Part Effects
Outstanding Performance Of A Character Who's Merely A Thinly-Veiled Version Of The Executive Producer's Ex
Outstanding Executive Producer Attempt To Explain Why Audience For Critically-Maligned Show Isn't Watching It Correctly
Outstanding Shirtless Performance In A High School Football Drama
Outstanding Shirtless Performance In A Ghost-Hunting Sibling Drama
Outstanding Art Direction In A Period Drama In Which Characters Have Shockingly Graphic Sex Amid The Opulent Décor
Outstanding Performance By A Broken Treaty In A Cable Movie About This Country's Shameful Treatment Of Native Americans
Outstanding Cinematography For Nonfiction Programming That Has Absolutely No Shot At Beating Planet Earth
Outstanding Performance By A Washed-Up "Celebrity" Looking For Love Among A Couple Dozen Skanky Bartenders/Strippers
Outstanding Performance By Greta Scacchi In A TV Movie You Never Knew Existed
Outstanding Performance By A Guest Actor Who's Got A Recognizable Name And Could Die At Any Moment So Best To Hurry Up With That Award
Outstanding Made-For-TV Movie That Clearly Aired On Lifetime, Given The Title
Outstanding Musical Episode Of A Non-Musical Show Running Low On Original Ideas
Outstanding FCC Violation In A Variety, Music, Or Awards Program
Outstanding Lingering Close-Up On A Bottle Of Pills To Denote Character's Descent Into Addiction
Outstanding Geek-Baiting Casting On A Network Drama About Superheroes
Outstanding Writing In A Comedy Which Manages Not To Be Funny At All, Ever
By Joe R
Is it us, or does it seem like every year the Emmys haul out new categories to keep up with the diversity of programming and yet they still have to haul out that "Special Citation" designation just so we know that they realize that When The Levees Broke doesn't really belong in the same category as Meerkat Manor? Our answer, then, is more categories! More! A category for every possible nominatable actor or program! No need to thank us, Emmys. Here are a few to get you started:
Outstanding Backstage Drama
Outstanding Performer In A Backstage Drama
Outstanding Achievement In Spin-Doctoring A Backstage Drama, Physical Abuse Division
Outstanding Achievement In Spin-Doctoring A Backstage Drama, Verbal Abuse Division
Outstanding Performance By A Deadwood Alum On A Show That's Okay But It's Just Not Deadwood
Outstanding Achievement In Camera-Zooming-Inside-Body-Part Effects
Outstanding Performance Of A Character Who's Merely A Thinly-Veiled Version Of The Executive Producer's Ex
Outstanding Executive Producer Attempt To Explain Why Audience For Critically-Maligned Show Isn't Watching It Correctly
Outstanding Shirtless Performance In A High School Football Drama
Outstanding Shirtless Performance In A Ghost-Hunting Sibling Drama
Outstanding Art Direction In A Period Drama In Which Characters Have Shockingly Graphic Sex Amid The Opulent Décor
Outstanding Performance By A Broken Treaty In A Cable Movie About This Country's Shameful Treatment Of Native Americans
Outstanding Cinematography For Nonfiction Programming That Has Absolutely No Shot At Beating Planet Earth
Outstanding Performance By A Washed-Up "Celebrity" Looking For Love Among A Couple Dozen Skanky Bartenders/Strippers
Outstanding Performance By Greta Scacchi In A TV Movie You Never Knew Existed
Outstanding Performance By A Guest Actor Who's Got A Recognizable Name And Could Die At Any Moment So Best To Hurry Up With That Award
Outstanding Made-For-TV Movie That Clearly Aired On Lifetime, Given The Title
Outstanding Musical Episode Of A Non-Musical Show Running Low On Original Ideas
Outstanding FCC Violation In A Variety, Music, Or Awards Program
Outstanding Lingering Close-Up On A Bottle Of Pills To Denote Character's Descent Into Addiction
Outstanding Geek-Baiting Casting On A Network Drama About Superheroes
Outstanding Writing In A Comedy Which Manages Not To Be Funny At All, Ever
Outstanding Rasputin Imitation For A Show That Won't Stay Cancelled