Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Secrets Revealed
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.28.2003
SamVid sleeps and dreams of a family that pays attention to it as Simon enters his room. He notices a makeshift tent on his bed and is curious to see what's inside it. Curiosity seriously irritates the cat as the occupant of the tent is revealed to be Asslee. Simon doesn't understand why she's there; he thought they already said their goodbyes. Asslee pathetically tries to get back with him, but Simon says that he's probably going to go away soon, as the PK from the Board of Ed knows another PK at some arts school in northern California, and so the original gangsta PK helped Simon make a video to appeal to the admissions board. Would this be a good time to mention how, in college, I lived with a PK who liked to scream out during sex, "You're fucking a minister's daughter!"? I guess there's never a good time to mention that. Oh well! Asslee asks if the CamRents are going to let him leave; Simon says that they don't know about it. "Don't know about what?" RevCam asks. Of course, he was spying on his son from the hallway. Asslee takes off, stopping at RevCam to get a "thanks" for her babysitting services, but no actual money. Sucker! RevCam walks in and says to Simon that "[he] didn't mean to overhear," all the while hastily trying to hide his long-range recording device in his back pocket. RevCam says that Det. Michaels is waiting for Simon on the porch. What, they don't let the poor guy come in the house? They let all other kinds of riff-raff inside, like Ed Begley, Jr.
Det. Michaels sits on the Camdens's front step, looking cold and lonely. Asslee walks by, and Det. Michaels thanks her for "the tip." Yes, it's tips like Asslee's about teenage boys buying chips and soda at 7-11 that helps the Glenoak PD protect its citizens. Simon comes outside. He asks Det. Michaels what's up. Det. Michaels says that he has a "hypothetical" situation to present to Simon. It's about a "good" kid who accidentally ran over and killed a younger kid on a bike. The good kid feels bad about it all summer. Hmm, I wonder who Det. Michaels could be talking about? He's kept the identities of those involved so well hidden. Det. Michaels says that if the dead kid was wearing a helmet and not possibly stoned, he might not have died. Simon says that if the good kid hadn't run the dead kid over, the helmet and the weed wouldn't be an issue at all. Det. Michaels asks Simon where he thinks the dead kid got that Mary Jane in the first place. Simon doesn't know. Det. Michaels reveals that he got it from his older brother. "Simon, he's blaming you because it's just too painful to blame himself," Det Michaels says. Hey, I thought this was supposed to be a hypothetical situation. Simon says that Justin has enough to deal with without everyone knowing that his brother's death may have partly been his fault. He asks who knows about this; Det. Michaels says that it's only him, Simon, and the Smiths. Um, and that other officer who was working undercover with Det. Michaels. And whoever at the police station approved the funding for this ridiculous, non-effective venture. And probably the convenience store owner. Oh, plus Asslee, and Justin's loser friends. But that's it. Det. Michaels promises that if Simon wants him to, he can keep this quiet, because Simon is the chief of police, so he has that kind of determining power. Simon says he does want this, and pats Det. Michaels on the arm. They finish the scene by staring off into the night as the actor who plays Det. Michaels probably wonders how he went from Julliard to this. He may also wonder how his character, who was supposed to be younger than or at least the same age as RevCam, suddenly became a grandfather of a six-year-old.