Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A | 6 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Would You Have A Drink With You?
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.17.2010
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Dexter and Julia Stiles embark on the rough and tumble road of captor and prisoner to best friends and fellow murderers, and things go pretty well, if you look at the big picture. I mean, a little Dexter blood was shed, and a good chunk of Masuka's pharmaceutical stash went missing in the process, but after a few days Dex and Julia were swapping stories of murdered wives and being sex-trafficked like only the best of friends can do.
Deb, on the other hand, is having a hell of a time catching these Santa Muerte bastards. With a little help from Dexter, she tracks the beheaders' cigar butt down to a tenement they're renting that they've filled with not only their freaky machetes and skulls, but about a dozen immigrant families as well. One of the beheaders was home during the raid, but he outsmarted Deb immediately and fled. Sucks for her, but at least we got to see some blood squirting out of his hostage's neck before he left. It was a little regional Shakespeare festival, but still -- that's nice of him.
And in the other storylines, for which I care very little: Dexter's nanny quit, but later decided to come back. Angel apologized to the cop he beat up, but IA is being their jerk selves about it and turning the whole thing onto LaGuerta, because if some drunk guy says you gave him a blowjob a million years ago it must not only be true, but you deserve to be in trouble for it now. So that's still going on. Luckily, Quinn's feeble little Dexter hunt is currently on hold, as he broke safehouse protocol to get to Trinity's son and show him a photo of Dexter in a convenience store. The son didn't talk, and LaGuerta suspended Quinn without pay indefinitely. That's probably the most useful thing LaGuerta has ever done. I hereby forgive any blowjob she's ever given. Now let's stop talking about them, please. -- Mindy Monez
Want more? The full recap starts right below!You know how sometimes Dexter's dad shows up and just sort of bitches and bitches forever without getting to his point, because there is no point, because he is imaginary? This is one of those times. That flat-faced dirty urchin that Shawn Hatosy was keeping on ice at the tourist center and saw Dex kill him finally and then flailed about?
Well, that flurry of activity was I guess the last of the urchin's reserves, so now it's all blood and scars and Dexter cleaning the dirt and blood off one inch at a time. How Dexter that instead of just getting a hose he's going to tend each wound carefully and scrub tiny clean places off the person one at a time before getting to the presumable murder part.
Daddy Morgan runs through all the things that Dexter has done crazy so far this season, and how this season even more than usual is really just a metaphor for a Republican senator's secret life. "What's the first rule of the Code? Don't get caught when you go out hunting for men at night. What's the second rule of the Code? Don't do it in a public bathroom. What's the third rule of the Code? You need a new wife or people are gonna start asking questions."
So basically Dexter feels like he's gotta protect the matted gnarly urchin by -- still not sure -- and Dad feels like he needs to protect Harrison and himself by killing it dead. At some point during this conversation between the serial killer and the other people in his head, the urchin wakes up and gets a wonky-eyed view of Dexter trying to be "friendly" and "unassuming" and "comforting," which goes poorly of course, and then it's an urchin puddle on the floor, and some Nell-type noises, and grunts and groans and struggles and spelling W-A-T-E-R on her hand and finally he gets annoyed enough to go searching through all that hair and blood and filth for a spot to hit the urchin with some more M99.
Thinking that you can't really do this every four hours, forever, Dexter gets so nervous that he takes off his shirt and does a little dance. That helps me too sometimes when things get out of hand.
Deb calls and he yells at her and then he finds out that this whole fight with the urchin and his Dad took all night, and now it's tomorrow. "Masuka's trying, he really is," [he really is], "But the blood just doesn't talk to him the way it does to you. I really need your help on this!" Dexter realizes that not only does he have an innocent witness to deal with, but also he left the insane Irish nanny with Harrison all night so she probably turned him into a pudding because you know she's got some crazy up her sleeve. But because he loves his sister, Dexter decides to take a moment and help her out.