Episode Report Card Sara M: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Long Bad Show
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.14.2003
Kevin sleeps. Lucy sits on his bed and stares at him. Do I even have to say that this family is creeps me out? Kevin wakes up to see Lucy, but he is not creeped out. He smiles warmly at her until she says that they have a problem. Ruthie comes peeking out from behind her with a smug smile across her smug face. Kevin, I really think you could punch her in the face, and then blame it on woken-up-too-suddenly violence. I will pay for your lawyer. Just do it. Please. Lucy says that Ruthie knows about Mary and Carlos. Ruthie says that Carlos is waiting for her to call and tell her when he can come over and talk to the CamRents. Kevin thinks that this is a good thing, because it's about time the CamRents knew that their eldest daughter was married. He says that Mary's obviously not going to tell them, so Carlos might as well. Huh? Last season, Mary was so anxious to tell RevCam about the marriage that she flew all over the country trying to track him down; now they're telling us that the exact opposite is true. Ruthie doesn't want to CamRents to be alone when they talk to Carlos, for they are delicate flowers that will wilt if they get any more bad news. Kevin wins more points with me by suggesting that they just mind their own business. Lucy and Ruthie reveal that they think that Mary is pregnant. Kevin won't believe it; he says they're being "ridiculous." Kevin, I completely agree with you, and I'm not ashamed to say it. A Mary pregnancy story would be nothing short of ridiculous. Which means that it will happen during sweeps.
Chandler asks Roxanne to marry him again. Roxanne says she will. Chandler wants to set a date. Like a normal person who's aware of how long it takes to plan a real wedding, Roxanne suggests sometime next spring or later. Chandler was thinking more along the lines of next week. Roxanne doesn't understand why there has to be a hurry, she "likes things the way they are." Which totally makes sense, because last season she really wanted to get married, and soon. I guess the writers have just figured that last season was absolutely terrible, and the only way to make it better is to just do the exact opposite of what they were doing last year. I wouldn't put it past the writers of this show to fully subscribe to such an asinine theory. ["If that means all the main characters start smoking Marlboro Reds on camera, you won't hear any complaints from over here." -- Sars] Chandler says that he loves Roxanne, but he "can't do this anymore." Do what? Forget it; I don't even want to know. Chandler threatens to break up with Roxanne if they don't get married soon. I can understand making an ultimatum like that IF you've been waiting for your boy/girlfriend to propose for several years and you feel like there's nothing left to do but get married or find someone new. But Roxanne and Chandler have been together for less than a year, so this whole need to get married right away doesn't make any sense at all.