Episode Report Card Omar G: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ghost Bad
By Omar G | Season 5 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.08.2006
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Thoughts while watching Smallville tonight: "Huh? What? Oh, what the fuck ever, Smallville. I could be watching Jerry Rice dancing right now." In the episode we'll remember as "Chloe sees dead people," a pesky poltergeist entombed in the walls of The Talon with a Kryptonite bracelet on manages to possess Chloe, whom everyone thinks is crazy because she's seeing a dead girl. Chloe was on suicide watch because she slit her wrists at the beginning of the episode. Lex tries to send Chloe to Belle Reve for treatment, but Clark's not having it. It turns out the dead girl was killed in the same way (wrists slit to let out evil secrets) by a psycho orderly. Psycho Orderly tracks down Chloe and snags Lois Lane while he's at it. He holds the girls hostage in the prototypical Psycho Guy Basement (I think they rent those out now for all-day shoots) and, in a showdown, Ghost Girl possesses Psycho Orderly and he dies. I guess. I'll be honest, I was thinking about The Jive when that happened. Anyway, Clark and Lana are still telling each other that they're in love and can't communicate even though THEY'RE ON A FUCKING BREAK! Papa Luthor keeps making the moves on MamaKent and must be super-turned-on that she decides to accept DeadBo's state senate seat. After her basement terror, Chloe decides, on the advice of Clark, to go see her mother. She visits a mental health ward where she sees her mother (we never see her face). They hug. Go Jerry Rice! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
This is my hundredth Smallville recap. I'm still trying to figure out which major character I'm going to kill off by the end of this recap.
It was a dark and sultry night. At The Talon. Very creepy music was playing as thunder cracked. I expected to hear The Monster Mash. Inside, upstairs in the apartment, Chloe is being a complete slob, for some reason. She's taking a shower and the leering camera pans across the floor, where her clothes and bra (so that's what holds up the Chloevage!) are lying. It's not so much sexy as cluttered. We know it's Chloe in the shower because we hear the grating sound of Lois Lane's voice saying, "The kettle's on, Chloe!" Get it off! It's hot! Lois suggests that a warm shower and chamomile will relax her. From the shower, Chloe thanks Lois and says that she feels better already. Chloe showers -- which, appropriately, involves lots of water. We see lightning flashing from outside.
Exterior shot of The Talon's marquee. Lightning hits the sign. Inside, scary lightning zaps the room's lamps and all the lights go off. Chloe turns off the water faucets, muttering, "Great. And my night is complete." Chloe puts on a bathrobe she found inside the shower somehow and complains that the lights probably aren't off in Metropolis. Well, look at you, Chloe Sullivan, with your big-city electrical ways. You make us country folk puke! Getting out of the shower, Chloe asks Lois where she keeps the candles. Lois tells Chloe that they're in the little cabinet, bottom drawer. Knowing what I do of Lois, I find it impossible to believe she's got enough sense to own a small cabinet, to own a candle, and to know where that candle is located in the event of a power outage. Chloe bends down and finds the wax and wick. She also finds one of those clicking automatic lighters. Once again, I call bullshit. Something whooshes ominously across the frame as scary music plays. Chloe pauses and turns. "Did I just have a cliché horror movie moment?" she wonders. Chloe walks over to the mirror and rubs the steam away with her hand. If it's light enough in the room to look in the mirror, why did she need a candle? Oh, I just figured it out. Chloe totally let one rip. Chloe goes, "Blech," as she tosses around her hair. She opens the mirror/medicine cabinet. Breast enlargement pills? What the...? Chloe grabs a brush and closes the mirror. A girl with big black spots painted under her eyes is in the mirror. Raccoon Girl! Raccoon Girl looks a bit like Fiona Apple. Chloe turns in alarm. Raccoon Girl extends her arms. Her wrists are covered in blood. This could be any teen girl who ever wrote on LiveJournal. "Help me," the girl says. Chloe screams, loudly. Oh, nice, Sullivan. Big help. Chloe has seen way scarier stuff than this. I'm not buying that a teenager with bad eye makeup would make her freak out like that.