Episode Report Card Heathen: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT A Simple Twist of Fate
By Heathen | Season 8 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.06.2002
Eleanor sits upstairs with Mickey, the Leukemia Boy Who Knew Too Much. His IV is beeping and Eleanor's clearly agitated that no one is rushing in to fix it. "Sometimes it takes longer during the shift change," Mickey says weakly. Eleanor's all, "The who with the what now?" Mickey actually has to explain to her what "shift change" means. Eleanor stops short of asking him what a nurse is. Instead, she bolts outside, where her son -- Dr. John "Awwwwww!" Carter -- is gabbing with Mickey's physician, Angel of Death nominee Dr. Alexander "Mr. Laura Innes" Babcock. Carter explains to his concerned mother that Mickey's cells are almost 100% leukemic, so a second chemotherapy cycle is imperative, and the IV contains a pretreatment solution leading up to that. "And then a bone marrow transplant?" she asks. Carter sadly points out that Mickey's suffered through one failed transplant already, so a second would just weaken him further. "And chemotherapy alone is going to save him?" Eleanor scoffs, her eyes flinty. Carter points out that the drugs are new this time, which riles her more -- she doesn't want Leukemia Boy to become Experimental Treatment Boy. Carter's irritated that Eleanor is grilling him so rudely -- he's only there as a favor to her. Mickey waves angelically at Eleanor and the twinkle in his eye heals forty lepers. Eleanor seethes that if Carter's going to pump more junk through the little angel child's veins, she's not leaving his side for a second. Carter angrily chews on his lip, then softens when he sees Eleanor put on a happy face for Mickey. He's confused by his feelings.
Susan treats a man whose midget whore sucked on his finger -- per his instructions -- and swallowed his oversized wedding ring. The midget whore is totally bored by this scenario. She's also very familiar, a total "Hey, It's That Midget Whore!" Check IMDb for Debbie Lee Carrington's résumé, because the list of her credits is longer than she is. Susan shrugs off the oddity of it all and brightly points out that this is all very normal, and that the ring should vacate her bowels in two to three days. The man flips. "He's not worried about me," Midget Ho midget-grouses. "He's afraid his wife will notice." Susan's all, "Ooookay," and suggests an endoscopy. Naughty Midget of the Night doesn't like the sound of having a tube rammed down her throat -- not for medical purposes, anyway. Susan's assurances that it won't hurt much fall on tiny, deaf ears. "I need my job -- I'm on stage in an hour," Midget Ho wails, leaping off the bed. "I gotta get to work, and I ain't searchin' my stool." That line got rewritten, though, because the captioners were told it would be, "And my bowels ain't for sale." You go, small ho! Yosh staggers in, a lovely shade of green, and says Abby's covering for him on the vaginal bleeding case -- he's puking and called the registry for a temporary replacement so that he can go home and empty his stomach in private. Susan's frustrated, but there isn't much she can do about it. Big Trouble Little Ho butts in on the conversation. "Hey, how much would you charge to stick a tube down your throat?" she demands. Susan senses that some negotiations are taking place, and backs away so they can debate pricing in private.