Episode Report Card Aaron: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Can anybody find them somebody to love?
By Aaron | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 05.03.2003
Schrödinger's Flat. Nate is acting out that infamous Tom Cruise "Old Time Rock & Roll" dance scene from Risky Business, only he's wearing jeans instead of tighty-whities, and he's carrying a baby instead of doing splits on the sofa. So actually, it's really nothing like that scene, except in the sense that he's blasting music and dancing around like an idiot because no one else is home. "I know it's a little bit different than the music Mommy plays," he explains to Maya, "But I just don't think I can stand to hear The Wiggles sing 'Dance The Oobie-Doobie' one more time without tearing my head off." Heh. Doobie. Leave it to Alan Ball to sneak a pot reference into a children's song. A knock at the door interrupts their little sock-hop, and Nate shouts for their visitor to come inside, on the assumption that it's the pizza guy. "Are you ready for your first taste of pepperoni?" he asks Maya. Aww. And what with the diet of strained tofu and fenugreek-laced breast milk Lisa probably has the kid on, I'm betting pepperoni would really hit the spot right about now. Mmm, processed meat. Unfortunately, the "pizza guy" turns out to be Brenda, who's standing in the doorway looking sad and lost and apologizing because she "didn't know where else to go." Some brief chitchat establishes that Lisa is gone for the evening, and then Brenda responds to Nate's question about what's troubling her with one simple word: "Billy." Sensing that this conversation might take a while, Nate decides to place Maya in her playpen, and then sends us into another scene so that he and Brenda can have time to prepare.
Inside the house proper, Ruth and Claire are curled up on Claire's bed, drinking tea and commiserating about the sorry state of their love lives. "Ever since your father died," sighs Ruth, "I've just flitted from man to man. I'm so embarrassed. Especially about Ed Begley Jr. I mean, what was I thinking?" Mindful of the lengthy string of abject losers Mom has managed to notch on her headboard of late, Claire tries valiantly to put the best spin on things. "You got married when you were nineteen," she protests. "You never even got to have your sexual twenties, so why shouldn't you do it now?" This leads Ruth to tell the story of how she got pregnant the first time she ever had sex, only Claire initially misinterprets this to mean that she might have "like a love-child half-brother somewhere." "No, no. It was Nate," corrects Ruth. "Nathaniel and I had to get married right away. Both our families were mortified. It changed my life forever." When her daughter asks if she ever wonders how her life might have been different, Ruth replies, "I used to. Not anymore." Then she takes a long sip of her tea, as if perhaps to cover the little white lie she's just told. "Were you and Dad in love with each other?" wonders Claire. "Oh, yes," Ruth assures her. "Despite how we grew apart, your father was the great love of my life." This sends Claire (and a significant portion of the viewing audience, as well) to the brink of tears, as she laments the fact that she never really got to know The Late Nate as an adult. Or at least the live Late Nate, that is. After all, she's probably got the best post-death relationship with him out of anyone on the show. "I miss him, too," confides Ruth. "There will never be another man who will love me when I'm young and pretty and then always have that picture of me somewhere in his heart." "Oh, Mom!" responds a shocked Claire. "You're so pretty! You're beautiful. Why do you think all these men are always hitting on you?" Heh. "You're so sweet," Mom replies. "But look at the men! I'm sitting here crying over Arthur. Arthur! And I thought Ed Begley was bad!"