Episode Report Card Niki: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Kind Of Blue
By Niki | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.11.2001
Soliloquy Lily shoots us a knowing look with her finger over her mouth. As if anyone cares. Oh, look at you, you're so bad with your big, non-juicy secret.
Rick's still going on about how much Judy hates him, as if he and she haven't already resolved this issue on more than one occasion. Lily tries to protest, but Rick just keeps going on and on and on, so she just rolls over. When he finally shuts up, Lily looks up with a mischievous glint, as if she's about to burst.
Soliloquy Lily seconds the look and opens her mouth to speak.
Lily spills it: "Okay, she's going to ask you to redo the restaurant." She claps a hand over her eyes and rolls over, regretting it. Rick guppies for a full three seconds before muttering, "Maybe she doesn't hate me." On her side, Lily stares straight ahead and gripes, "I promised her I wouldn't tell you." "But you did?" "You did, too." They make each other promise to act surprised when they hear the big secrets for the second time. The plucky little guitar player's fingers must be bleeding by now. It makes me feel better to think so, anyway.
Cut to Sam spreading out a pile of photographs on the floor of Rick's office. "Okay, for want of a better phrase: the soul of the new hotel." Rick asks whether Fleisher wants Sam to design the pillow mints, too. "And the hookers," Sam quips. He explains to Rick that the hook of the Fleisher hotels is that the minute you walk in, everything whispers, "You're special." "Sounds like my house," Rick says. He stares at the pictures for a moment, then exhales loudly and says, "Okay." Sam also exhales loudly and says, "Okay." They're silent, blissfully silent, for a few seconds, until Sam announces, "I have to go to the bathroom." "So go to the bathroom," Rick says immediately. Sam shares that he just went an hour ago. "So don't go to the bathroom," Rick says. While I busy myself with pulling the pen from my eye, Sam asks Rick what his cholesterol is. If anyone cares, it's 150. Sam's is 247. Also, Rick has no ear hair. Sam asks whether they're dying. Rick says that only Sam is. You know, death is starting to look pretty good right about now. The receptionist has the phone in her hand and calls over, "It's Judy." Rick says to tell Judy that he'll call back. The receptionist clarifies that Judy is on her way up. Cue those plucky guitars. Sam starts looking for an escape route, saying, "I can't do this right now." "You're running away?" Rick asks with disbelief. "Uh, yes, actually," Sam answers, and tells Rick to call his cell phone once she's gone. Sam disappears out the back door as Judy comes in the front door. She gives Rick a bright "hey," to which he responds with self-conscious exuberance. Awkwardly, he tells Judy that she looks great. She smiles and says it could be because she lost weight. How could Judy lose any weight off that tiny little frame? Maybe she shaved off a ton of leg hair or something. Rick tells her "it shows." She points out that it was only half a pound. Faltering, he tells her again that she looks great, and she looks at him a little suspiciously before changing the subject to the business at hand. She tells him she has a surprise and grins as she paces away. He watches her and tries to plaster a blank look on his face. Which he's much better at when he's not trying, by the way.