Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Claire Witch Project
By Monty Ashley | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.12.2009
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Hey, remember Nurse Elena, Ignacio's new caregiver? It will come as no surprise to anybody that she and Ignacio hook up together, or that Betty and Hilda find out via a misplaced video camera. And then we learn that Betty and Hilda know the word "inappropriate," which I find hard to believe. Anyway, they're just freaked out because they don't want Ignacio to replace their mother. So the concerns about whether it's appropriate for a nurse to be getting it on with her patient are cheerily dismissed as just them being silly girls with mommy issues. I'm starting to think that this show is not the best source for business ethics.
The video camera is in the show because Betty is trying to make a video tribute for Claire Meade, who is celebrating her upcoming sixtieth birthday -- by shoplifting things and complaining about being alone. The tribute doesn't go too well, both because Betty can't operate a camera and because the only thing anyone can think of to say about Claire is that she's a drunken murderer. Although they do focus on the drinking, which is mildly charitable. So the video tribute is a total Maguffin which never happens and the "surprise party" is a private dinner between Daniel and Claire while they watch the only Meade home movie that doesn't end in a drunken collapse.
Meanwhile in the Love Rhombus, Daniel and Molly bump into Wili and Connor while ice skating at 30 Rock (the place, not the show). After Connor and Molly reminisce about all the good times they had travelling to various exotic places, both Daniel and Wili are left insecure about their relationships. So Wili ends up with a parrot that doesn't say anything but "Pretty Molly" and Daniel takes Molly to the world's most judgmental Tibetan restaurant. Wili tells Connor she loves him and we are led to understand that he approves of this.
Also, there was a commercial for All My Children that I think included the climactic scene from Grease 2. That was kind of weird.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We open up on the sight of someone making fresh pomegranate juice. Pomegranates are sliced, seeds are disposed of, and pulp is blended, all to create a fresh glass of yucky pomegranate juice. It seems like a lot of work to me, especially since (as hinted in the previous sentence) I happen to think that pomegranate juice is yucky. Also, pomegranates are responsible for winter, if I remember my Greek mythology correctly. Betty is astonished that Ignacio will be drinking pomegranate juice, as am I. Betty can't drink it, and I don't think that's the only thing in this episode that will be hard to swallow. Hey now!
Elena charms Hilda, Justin, and Betty with her stories of horrifying Beverly Hills residents who have had plastic surgery. It's a good thing there's no one like that in New York!
Ignacio rolls in and claims to be excited about going for a morning walk. Betty and Hilda are astonished and make sure to pour out their gross pomegranate juice as soon as Elena and Ignacio are out of sight. They start to talk about how great Elena is, but Betty has a call from Claire Meade, who wants her to bring some cash to a drug store. She's been detained for shoplifting a tube of lipstick. My suggestion is that if you're going to shoplift, you should wear something less obtrusive, instead of this all-the-primary-colors-at-once number. Betty tries to defend Claire but eventually just coughs up twenty four bucks to get them out of the security guard's office.
Mode offices! Daniel is shocked and appalled! Betty thinks Claire is acting out for some reason, which makes Daniel realize that Claire's sixtieth birthday is next week. Daniel needs an assistant to keep track of this sort of thing. I bet Marc goes around to the entire building to make sure Wilhelmina's birthday is observed with the appropriate amount of pomp, circumstance, and not asking how old she is. Betty suggests a surprise party, which Daniel thinks is a great idea. Betty also wants to make a tribute video, which he's not too into. We see some of the Meade home movies (which have been digitized at some point) featuring Young Daniel and Young Alex, but the focus is on Drunk Claire knocking over the Christmas tree. We don't get to see "the Fourth of July barbecue-in-the-pool spectacular", which makes me feel cheated. I like spectacles as much as the next guy. And Betty is not dissuaded. She proposes that she be lent a video camera so she can get Claire's friends to say nice things that can then be edited into a warm, friendly video.