Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Touch Of Weevil
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 18 | Aired on 02.21.2011
Jenna, running down the lacrosse field with her cane in the other hand. Jenna, dribbling up for a dunk shot, faking left, boom goes the dynamite. Jenna, hand snapping out to pluck a Frisbee from the air. Jenna, catching air on a triple-ollie that would make Shaun White gape. Jenna, clipped into her pedals, racing past Lance Armstrong. Jenna, skiing down the mountainside with a semi-automatic strapped to her back. All of these are easier to imagine than they should be. But what's she doing right now?
Oh, sitting on her porch with her steamy tea and her fuckin' flute, looking ten times of crazy and waiting for Emily to show up for the date Toby forgot they had, so she can bond with her over it -- "Sucks, doesn't it? Feeling like you're second choice?" -- and then, once Emily fails to respond, playing her out of the Radley yard with some mournful fucking flute music that sounds like a funeral for a skeleton's wife.
She's so great, dude. How does she do it? I would be her friend instantly. Her and Spencer both, I would just walk up and stick out my hand and say my name clearly with a how do you do. But honestly, Emily.
"Um see, we don't really have that much in common. Spencer's my friend? And I'm gay, so I wouldn't even really trying to fuck him, much less if he were my brother -- which, btw, he is totally your brother -- so no. I mean, yes, technically we are both being tossed over for Spencer and neither of us should be interested in him in that way, but we both know better. Also, you are the skeeviest motherfucker in town now that Ali is dead, whereas I am the only wholesome person on this show. Also, one of the formative moments in my life is that time I didn't get blown up, leaving me fully sighted and not crazy in the slightest."
Discretion is the better part of valor for sure, but sometimes, Emily, you gotta speak up. Crazy girl drowns you, stalks you, jumps out of the backseat and kisses you? Say something! Get this party started! Get called an affirmative-action dyke in front of the lunchroom and entire faculty? Have some more whiskey! Say something! Crazy blind girl tryna make you join her My Brother Toby Fan Club? Girl! Say something!
Spencer tries to feed Toby some toast, but he's so twitchy about stealing Jenna's stuff that he can't even think about breakfast, or the breakfast date he was already supposed to have on top of the breakfast date they're now having that he's too distracted for. And considering Toby only goes up to about a three, energetically speaking, that's a lot of stress. I think I even saw him move, but it could have been a trick of the light. They bond for a second over psycho sisters (Melissa "once threatened to break my thumbs for using her hairbrush") and then, Bonding Time Complete, Spencer moves on to the interrogating of Toby immediately.